Three Months Home

I think her onesie sums it up beautifully. She was so, so, so worth the wait. On Thursday we hit two anniversaries. The 3 month anniversary of our coming home and Gracie turning 11 months. She's come so far in so many ways. She is now crawling. Only backwards and only a couple of crawls before she figures out that scooting is still the faster mode of transportation at this point. She's so much more mobile now and you can see her scanning the room thinking hey, if I want to get that thing over there on the floor, what's the fastest way to do that. It's like every day she learns something new. She has one tooth that came in and a couple more about to make an appearance. She says "mama" and variations of "Uh-Oh" and "yeah". She's really quite amazing. She is eating much better than she was and I can really tell that she's growing and getting so much stronger.

She has been babbling for weeks and had been saying mamamamamamamamamamama but I wasn't really sure that she identified me as mama and really knew who that was. Then about a month ago, she woke up at 4:30 in the morning which is really a rare occurrence for her. I went into her room because it was clearly a you need to come get me now cry. I was thinking, oh, I really hope you go back to sleep as I changed her diaper and then she looked at me, put her hand on my chest and said mama. And I thought, hey, you can get me up every morning at 4:30 if you're going to say that to me. It was positively thrilling to hear your daughter say that for the first time. It was the first time I really understood the meaning of the expression my heart is about to burst.

She seems to be handling our new schedule well and the weekends are getting easier for her. She still likes to have lots of sitting on mommy time but I do not have to spend every waking second holding her so that's been nice for both of us.

Yesterday was my niece Meghan's birthday party and it was nice for Gracie to see everyone. I forget how serious she can be when she's around a group of people she doesn't see a lot. She's usually pretty relaxed and vocal with me and my immediate family but I forget that so much is still so new to her. Once she loosens up she is really animated but it does take a bit.

We have an important event coming up. This coming weekend Grace will be baptized. It will be a fairly small affair but exciting none the less. She will be baptized in a dress I bought in Ethiopia. It's really important to me that we continue to celebrate her Ethiopian heritage. It's especially important given that one of the things her family expressed to me during our birth family visit was their hope that God would be an important part of her life. I look forward to sending pictures to her family.

I've actually been thinking a lot about her family. I sent her family pictures and an update of how she's been doing. It's the first update I've sent since being home. I haven't talked alot on this blog about her family, and I'll never give a lot of detail as I feel strongly that it's Grace's story to tell and decide who to share it with. For now, I'm just the keeper of the story. But meeting them was such an important part of the puzzle. I got to see the area where she was born and to get a small glimpse of what her life would have been like. I'm not saying her life would have been unhappy or unfulfilling, but it would have been hard. Being in Ethiopia gave me such a different perspective on what is important in life and what is truly necessary. Meeting her family was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do but it was also so rewarding to be able to look them in the eye and tell them that she would be loved, and adored and cared for and to thank for allowing me to have the great honor of becoming her mother. And yet, with all the gratitude I have, I also have great sadness for what they are missing. That sly little smile, the way she rolls her eyes to the side when she's not quite sure about something, the cute little voice she uses to talk to her baby dolls or the belly laugh she lets out when her cousins dance and sing for her. As full as my heart it, it hurts for them.

So, in a month I will be the mother of a one year old. I'm so proud of how far she has come but I will really miss this snugly baby stage. I love that she buries her head in my neck and pats my face when she's having a bottle. I love how she closes her eyes and giggles when I give her tons of kisses all at once. But I'm sure that new and exciting times are ahead of us.

Getting Into The Groove

So, we're nearing the end of week 2 of back to work and I think we're doing OK and getting into a routine. I wake up at 5:30. Luckily, I don't need a lot of time to get ready in the morning. In fact, I could be ready to go to the moon in 30 minutes. So I'm ready no later than 6:00. I get my coffee and Grace's bottle ready and then I get her up. I swear she is the happiest baby I have ever seen in the morning. Sometimes I hear her through the baby monitor talking to her baby doll. It's the sweetest little sound. After I get her dressed and ready we have our coffee and bottle together and then we have time to play before I bring her up to Auntie Kate's.

Grace has been doing so well at Auntie Kate's. She doesn't cry when I bring her up. She adores her cousins and man, do they adore her back. My niece Meghan thinks that she is a third mother to Grace. Meghan is almost 6. The night before I went back to work, Meghan asked me if I would be providing them with some instructions so they would know how to best take care of Grace. I told her I had written some things down and she said good, I like to have it in writing. I told her I would be up at 7:30 the next morning. We came up at 7:25 (because I am always early) and Meghan met me at the stairs and said, I thought you were coming at 7:30? It's 7:25. I said we came up a little early so I could tell them a few things. Was that OK? She said oh it's fine, I just expected you at 7:30. She cracks me up. The other night when we were leaving Meghan said see you tomorrow at 7:25 Gracie cause your mom is always early in case she has to tell us stuff. Jacob tells me every morning that Gracie is going to be a super great girl that day and then he reports back to me what she did all day when I get home. They are such great cousins and they crack her up.

In the evening she's really happy to see me. We have bath time, books, a little play time and a bottle. I really love the little schedule we have worked out. I still get to spend some good time with her and she knows she will start and end her day with mommy. Now the weekend is still a bit of a challenge for her. I think she's afraid that if she lets me out of her sight I'll leave so just about every minute of the day she needs to be either sitting with me or within arms reach of me. If I walk across the room or god forbid out of the room she looses her mind. So we spent a lot of time snuggling and playing. In all honesty, I would much rather have this scenario than to have a child who wants nothing to do with me. She just needs more time to realize that when I leave I will always come back. I tell her that every morning when I leave and soon enough she will come to believe that. Until then she just needs my constant love and reassurance and she certainly has that. Plus, who wouldn't want to spend their entire weekend playing with my gorgeous girl?

This week we got a great gift from Gracie's friend Enatu, who came home a few months before she did, and her mom. It was a gift set of Princess and the Frog hair care products from a company called Carol's Daughter. They make African American hair care products. We love the products. They make her hair so soft and fluffy.

We've been going to church and Grace is pretty well behaved except she blows raspberries through the entire homily. She's done this two weeks in a row and it's always in the homily and always when there's dead silence. And no matter what I do, she just won't stop. Well, I guess like mother like daughter. I apparently would wait until it was quiet to ask my mother if the boring church was over yet. We Flaherty women are classy gals.

Grace is doing so well. She has one tooth that is popping through. It's just starting to show and it looks so cute. She is rolling over all the time now and she can get from her belly to her knees to sitting up. She is also getting up on all fours and is rocking back and forth so I think she'll be crawling any time now. She loves to play patty cake and she loves to be sung to. Her favorite thing to do is to untie mommy's shoes. That can keep her busy for a long time. She is sweet and giggly and cuddly and I just adore her. I can't wait to get home each night to her. I consider myself the luckiest mommy around.

I Survived!

Day one back at work after my maternity leave and I survived to talk about it. I only cried half of the way to work and once for a short minute in the ladies room. And I only called 3 times to check on her. When I got home my sister had Grace in front of the window and she was kicking her legs, happy to see me, but by the time I got in the door, she was a little mad. Sort of like, hey, I missed you, but you left me so I'm gonna be mad for a couple minutes. After 5 minutes she warmed up and snuggled into me and acted like her regular self. Big sigh of relief. She had a great day with Auntie Kate and her cousins so all in all it was a success. I really was happy to see my co-workers and to get back to a regular schedule. They had a sign up on my office door welcoming me back. I was so touched. I really did miss them.

So it wasn't awful, but I am glad that I came back to a four day work week to break myself in. And in the end, I had plenty of time tonight for lots of stories and cuddles before bedtime. What a gift she is to come home to.

Back to Work

Tomorrow marks my return to work after an 11 week maternity leave. In many ways, it feels like going back to school. I packed up the things my sister will need at her house for Grace. I figured out what I'm going to wear tomorrow, I packed up my lunch and got the coffee maker set up for the morning. I collected my pictures of Grace to take to work and I set the alarm clock. Logistically, I'm ready. Emotionally.....not so much.

I realize that when it comes to the day care situation, I won the lottery. My sister Kate who is one of my very, very best friends in the world, is my day care provider. She will be Grace's godmother and her guardian, god forbid anything happens to me. Kate and her husband and I own our house together which means that the commute to day care is about 12 seconds up a flight of stairs. Grace will spend all day in an environment she is super comfortable in and thanks to a good baby monitor, she will even nap in her own bed. It really couldn't get any better. Grace loves her aunt and uncle and thinks her two cousins hung the moon. She will be fine. She probably won't even notice I've been gone until I come home. I however, am bordering on loony. I have been trying to prepare myself for this for a couple weeks and yet, I woke up this morning ready to cry. I know every mother goes through this. There are many before me who survived and lived to tell their tale. I will too. But it probably won't be tomorrow.

In closing, here are a few more recent pictures. Wish me luck tomorrow. I have a feeling I'm going to need it.

Two Months Home

February 5th marked our two month anniversary home as a family. It's amazing to me how far Grace has come in that time. When I met Grace for the first time in Ethiopia, she was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen but she clearly was not at the physical level of an eight month old. In fact, when I set her on the floor to see if she could sit up, she flopped over like a rag doll. I tried to stand her up on my legs but she couldn't bare any weight. Fast forward to now and she is leaps and bounds ahead of where she was. She can sit up on her own, roll over, scootch herself around the living room floor on her back, clap her hands,give high fives and shakes her head "no" for fun. When we went back to the international pediatrician at the end of January, they were amazed at how far she had progressed. In December they said she tested at the average age of a five month old and at the appointment in January she measured at at least a nine month level and higher in some areas.

The only concern we still have is her weight, and they aren't as concerned about that as they were since she seems to be gaining at a good rate. She is now slightly over 13 pounds and she's still not on the growth chart yet but at this rate, she should make it onto it at about 14 months. They're pleased that she's gaining and they really helped to put my mind at ease. I was becoming a basket case over her being so small and they really helped to calm me down. We still need to get her weight up but we're not in crisis mode. That really helped to relax me and they were able to give me some good tips on what I can do to make the feedings not so stressful. And because of those tips, the baby food is going much better. She will now eat, pears, peaches or bananas twice a day and I only have to tickle her to get the first bite in. After that she remembers that she likes the taste and she opens her mouth. I have become much calmer during feedings and I think she can sense that. I also switched her bottles because it seemed like she was having a lot of gas and that seems to be working better too. I think that she just hasn't learned that eating can be a pleasant experience. She was on a feeding tube for quite some time in Ethiopia so I think that has had an effect on her. As the doctor said, she eats to live, she doesn't live to eat. Hopefully, we'll get this worked out but it will take some time.

I started planning her baptism. It will be in the middle of March and it will be a small affair with very close family and friends. It will be at the church my dad and step-mom attend and were married in so I'm excited about that. I wanted this to be a celebration that included both her American and Ethiopian cultures. So instead of the typical white christening gown, she will wear a traditional off-white Ethiopian dress that I bought while over there. It has a few small, vibrant colored crosses on it and a head scarf to go with it. I want this to be one of many occasions where we can celebrate her Ethiopian heritage along with her American heritage.

So I go back to work on Tuesday. As much as I love my job and the people I work with, I know it will be hard to leave her. I did a practice run yesterday where I left Grace with my sister for 3 1/2 hours. Not so Grace could get used to it, but so I could. I didn't cry and I only checked in once. I'm going to try another run tomorrow. I know that she is in the best possible hands with my sister Kate so that certainly helps with my anxiety but I'd be a liar if I didn't say it will be difficult to be away from her all day.

All in all, we're doing great. We will spend our first valentines day together this weekend and I got to buy my first daughter card which was exciting. She continues to be the joy of my life and I thank my lucky stars that I get to be her mom.

Since we've been home two months I thought I would post some pictures of what she looked like the first day I met her in Ethiopia and how she looks now.


Our first meeting on November 28th.



November 29th

February 6th at home

Yesterday sitting for the first time on the push toy Santa brought her.

Today eating peaches.

Time Passes So Quickly

I go back to work three weeks from today. It seems like just yesterday that I was about to get on a plane to pick up Grace. The time has gone so quickly and I have enjoyed every second of it. I wish that I could stay home full time but I knew when I decided to become a mother that going back full time was obviously the only option. I'm lucky to have my sister Kate taking care of Grace while I am at work but honestly, it's still going to be really hard for me to leave her. really, Really hard. Good luck to my co-workers! I really do love my job so I know it will be nice to be back and in the long run it will all work out.

This week Grace goes back to the International Pediatrician. I'm really anxious to see what they think of her progress. I'm really so pleased with her progress. She now rolls over, she claps, she shakes her head no at me and then laughs hysterically. She rolls around on the floor and babbles like crazy and she is sitting up like a champ. My only real concern is the eating. We had two days of her loving pears and now she's over it. We're back to battle of the baby food again. I'm hoping they have some suggestions on what I can do to help the process and not be so stressed out about it.

So other than that, not a lot is new so I'll end the post with some updated pictures of my beautiful girl!

Christmas Eve

Mommy and Gracie reading books on Christmas Eve

Gracie Opening Presents

Present from Baseball honey and Grandma Judi

Me and My Girls

Easter Dress. Yes, I'm 3 months early but hey, It's my first time getting to buy one so cut me some slack

My Big Girl Sitting Up

My attempt at doing her hair. Not too shabby I think.

The Things I have Learned

In my six weeks of parenting I have learned an awful lot. The following is just a small sample.

1. It makes your heart just a little happy when your baby cries when she meets someone new who wants to hold her. I definitely don't want her to be a child who is afraid of people but it thrills me that she recognizes that I'm Mommy and I'm the go to person for comfort. It's a major sign that she is attaching well.

2. It doesn't take long for you to learn your child. Grace's eating has been really off this week. She went from eating 5-6 ounces per bottle to about 3 ounces max and each bottle was taking over an hour an a half. After confirming at a routine check up that she was over the previous ear infection and sore throat I tried to figure out what was happening that was causing the change. When we met with the international pediatrician she told me that Grace was the average size of a 2 1/2 month old. When I get concerned about her not taking rice cereal or not rolling over, my sister Amy wisely reminds me of that statement. While she is 9 months old, she's not totally functioning as a 9 month old. So I tried to think back to what a two month old might need. After thinking on it for a bit I decided to try swaddling her for feedings. She is resistant for the first thirty seconds as I swaddle her but every feeding since I started this last night has been at least 5 ounces and has taken less than 30 minutes. I then follow the feeding with a little extra mommy snuggling time. I had heard that sometimes kids regress a bit when home but since she seemed to be doing so well, I guess I forgot it could happen to us. So much has happened to her in her short life and I think it's now catching up to her. I'm not sure this will work forever but it certainly was a proud moment figuring out a solution that works for your baby.

3. I'm fighting the baby food battle and I have the scars to prove it. 9 months is a little late to be introducing baby food and lets just say that Grace is really having none of it. I wear more of it than she eats. The shirt I have on today was green. It's now green with orange splatters of peaches.

4. Grace can clamp her mouth shut like nobodies business. Seriously, I couldn't pry those lips open with a pry bar to get that baby food in. The other day I got a couple spoonfuls in when she accidentally smiled at me. I was quite proud of myself until she raspberried the contents of her mouth at me. Then she smiled proudly at me as if to say fool me once, shame on me...fool me twice, raspberry on you mommy.

5. People love cute babies with curly hair. We get stopped every where we go by people admiring how cute she is and how lovely her hair is.

6. I have amazing children in my life. We were at my Godchild's birthday party last night and my Nephew Kyle who is 9 was telling Grace all the things he's going to teach her and how they're going to be great friends and then he sang to her, which she loves. You'd be hard pressed to find a sweeter young boy.

7. I have lost all sense of time and dates. It's amazing to me that I show up to appointments on time because I feel like I never know what day it is.

8. When the baby takes a nap, take a shower first or you might not get one. This is a difficult one for me. I know that as soon as I put her down I should jump in the shower but I think oh let me just empty the dishwasher first or send a quick e-mail and then the next thing I know she's up and I'm still dirty.

9. There is no such thing as a quick errand with a baby.

10. My sisters are very smart women. I already knew this but it amazes me just how knowledgeable they are about parenting but at the same time, they let me feel my way through it. They have talked me off many a ledge so far.

11. My daughter is the light of my life. Even when she's flinging baby food at me, she is everything I have ever dreamed of and she could not be more of a part of me even if we had a biological connection.

12. My nephew Jake feels the need to introduce Grace to every person he comes in contact with. We were in a restaurant and the waitress asked for our drink order and he said I'll have a chocolate milk and this is my cousin Gracie Lito Flaherty. She is a baby.