Happy Halloween!

What a great weekend we had.  Visits with friends in NH yesterday, lunch with family today and Grace's first trick or treating tonight.  No time for a real post but here a few pictures of the weekend.

Fun Weekends, Apple Picking and Tantrums

We had a great weekend.  I was lucky enough to have Monday off which means we had three full days together.  On Saturday we spent the day apple picking with Auntie Kate, Uncle Dennis, Meghan and Jake.  We have gone to this place for the last three years and I have been dreaming of the day that I would get to bring my baby there.  It was actually more fun than I imagined.  Gracie wasn't crazy abut the actual picking but she LOVED biting into the apples and she loved being pushed in the wagon with her cousins.  She had so much fun running through the pumpkin patch and they had a children's performer so she could get down and get dancing.  It was pretty much a perfect day.

On Sunday we had a family party and Grace got to meet some family she hadn't met yet.  I could tell you that they loved her to pieces but that would be such an understatement.  She definitely took more time to warm up than usual and I am beginning to see the shyer side of her when she's with people she's not used to.  But after about 30 minutes she was running around and playing and charming the pants off of everyone. 

On Monday we went to the hair stylist to get more Moroccan oil and I was thrilled when the hairdresser told me I was doing a great job and her hair looks so much healthier.  I was very pleased! That Moroccan oil is awesome.

On Monday night Grace had her first full blown, stiff body, throw your self on the floor tantrum.  It was a doozy and believe me, my girl has a TEMPER.  It all started because she has a horribly unreasonable mother who thinks she should help pick up the toys she distributed all over the living room.  I tried to get her geared up by pretending like it was a fun thing we were going to do and then we sang the Barney clean up song.  She thought it was fun to sing the song, and fun that I was picking up toys but she wanted no part of it.  I then tried to give her choices like hey, do you want to pick up the pink phone or the blue block?  I got a little cocky when I saw her pick up the pink phone.  I was silently patting myself on the back.  Until.....I realized she picked it up to play with it.  So after repeated attempts of trying to talk her into putting it into the toy basket, she threw the phone at me which got her a time out.  After she calmed down I explained again what we were doing and walked her over to the next toy and then the crocodile tears started.  Then she buried her head in my legs and wouldn't let go.  Then she threw herself on the floor.  Good times my friends.  Good times. Did I mention she has a very dramatic flair?  So in order to get her to clean up I had to walk her to the first couple of toys, take her hands and put them around the toy and then walk her over to the toy basket. I remained calm and patient but made it clear I wasn't giving in.  It took about 6 toys before she realized I wasn't going to let this go and she picked up the last 3 by herself.  It took us about 30 minutes to pick up 9 toys and we had 3 time outs for throwing toys at mommy but we got through it.  I was proud of myself for not giving in and proud of her for doing what I asked(eventually).  And tonight when we picked up it went much quicker with no tantrums and no throwing.  It amazes me every day how much she understands and how she's trying to make sense of what I want her to do and why. This will not be our last battle but I'm glad we got past it.

We're enjoying our fall and are looking forward to the next couple of weekends with family and friends.  This time last year was my baby shower.  The day before my shower I spent the day in Salem, mass with two of my close friends, Andrea and Robin, who flew in for the shower.  When we were in Salem they spotted a T-shirt that said  My Little Pumpkin and they told me I had to buy it because Grace was going to be adorable in it.  Well, I bought it and she finally fit into it this week and  I have to say, boy were they right.  But you can judge for yourself.

Ten Months Home

Today Grace turned 18 months old.  This also marks our tenth month as a family of two.  I was looking back at a post I made on October 4th of last year when I was waiting for news on when I could travel to get Grace.  The wait was definitely weighing on me and I just couldn't wait to get to my girl.  I re-read that post and I remember what it was like longing to see her in person and hold her and play with her and kiss her sweet little cheeks.  And here I sit a year later and she's home.  She's snugly tucked in her crib with her baby doll and her glow worm.  It was so hard to wait but she was worth every agonizing second of it.  I never knew real happiness until I knew Grace.  She makes the mundane fun.  She makes me see everything in such a different light.  She makes me want to be the very best me I can.  Being her mother is the greatest joy I will ever have.

During the two years I waited, I didn't buy very much besides books and baby towels since I wasn't sure who I was waiting for.  One of the only purchases I made was a Cookie Monster towel.  I saw it on another mom's blog and I just thought, man, I need to have that for the punkin.  I tried to imagine how cute that baby would be but I have to tell you, I never imagined she would be this cute.

She has fit into our family so easily, as if she has always been with us.  She is adored by everyone who knows her. She brings so much happiness to my life and I cherish every second of it.  I'm such a lucky mom.

Well, long time no post I guess.  I hadn't intended to wait so long between posts but I wanted to post some updated hair pictures and it takes so long to load pictures onto my computer that I just procrastinated.  But alas, I got off my busy, but somewhat lazy behind and took an hour off of my life to load the pictures.  Sadly, I'm not joking, as my computer is old and slow.  I swear it has windows 1812 on it. 

So here are some pictures of  Grace's hair since I took her to an African-American salon a few weeks ago.  



This is here hair after we visited the hair stylist.  Her pony tails are much smoother than I was ever able to make them.



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This was taken after her first shampoo with the new products.  Her hair is much, much softer and fluffier than before and far easier to manage.

Another view of her fluffy hair



My first attempt at styling by myself.  I did pony tails and then braided the ponytails.  This was quite an accomplishment for me as I have no hair styling skills what so ever.

Little Braids.  I know my sister Amy would never  believe I did this without proof.

My first attempt went so well that I decided to get fancy.  Clearly, this didn't work out as well.  Have you ever tried to get a wiggly 17 month old to sit still while you tried to create a straight part?  If you have, then God Bless you because it's no easy feat.

My top ponytails were OK but the bottom two are wacky. 

 All in all, I am very happy with her hair.  I still need a lot more time to experiment but I am thrilled with the Moroccan oil.  Our hair routine is much shorter these days but the results are so much better.  Once I comb it the curls just come back to life.  I could not be happier. 

Life in general at our house is good.  We met with Grace's nutritionist two weeks ago and we had a great appointment.  She gained 1 1/4 pounds in four weeks which is the most she has gained in one month in the almost 10 months she has been home.  She is now 17 pounds, 2 oz.  The GI doctor put her on an appetite stimulant about a month ago to see if that would help her put on weight.  It seems like it's helping.  She is getting to the point where she is recognizing she is hungry and she is telling me (she knows the sign for eat).  She doesn't eat huge quantities but she is eating more and more often.  She is still on pediasure but she is drinking more than she was and that's really helping to to put on the extra calories.  She's still petite but I feel really positive that we're moving in a positive direction.

She is starting to talk up a storm.  Her favorite new words are Goo Gurl (Good Girl), Un-Koooool (Uncle), Yep (Yes), and Un-dan (understand).  She can point to all of the parts of her face except for the eyes.  I have no idea why but she always points to her nose when you say eyes.  If you ask her what a dogie says she pants and for a kitty she says mow, which really sounds adorable.  She also can make monkey, duck and cow sounds.  I know, she's a genius, don't be jealous. 

She is very affectionate and loves to snuggle into her mommy.  She loves to sing and laugh and read books. Her current favorite is called snuggle puppy by Sandra Boynton.  We read it about 37 times a day and no, I'm not exaggerating.  She can't get enough of it.  She now sits down with books and reads them to herself.  OK, well not really reading, but babbling and turning the pages as if she is.  It's so cute.  She loves to dance.  There is a music channel through our cable company that plays toddler tunes.  She loves that channel and she loves to dance to it.  When she wants to dance she will stand in front of the t.v. and will bounce up and down until I turn it on.  She is just so much fun.  She has developed this annoying toddler scream that she releases for no apparent reason.  I don't love that but we're working on it. 

Here are some recent pictures of her:



She loves to suck on her three fingers. 

I bought her a new hat for the winter and she wanted to wear it today.  However, she wouldn't wait for me to take off the tags or the mittens so she walked around the house like this. 

Guess she was worn out by her new hat and just had to stop and take a rest.

Hair

When I started the adoption process there was only one thing that terrified me at the prospect of having a daughter.  Hair.  I can't do my own un-remarkable typical straight white person hair.  How in the world could I possibly take care of an African daughters hair?  Fast forward to last August when I got my referral and saw my daughter for the very first time.  I'm the only person I know of who got a referral of a four month old with 4 little pony tails.  She had a head full of hair and my first thought was, well, I better learn how to take care of it.

About a week after I received Grace's referral, I bought five books on African/African-American hair.  Turns out that all five books went into great detail on how to style the hair, but there was no information on how to care for the hair.  At that point, I started looking at Ethiopian adoption blogs and I found a lot of tips about hair care.  I learned information about how often to wash, condition, etc.  But every persons hair is different so it was still hard to figure out what products to use.  I did some trial and error and I found some products that worked but the texture of her hair has changed and I have been worried that the products weren't right for her anymore.  I finally decided that I needed to talk to a professional who could help me with products, maintenance, etc. 

I had a card of a salon that my sister knew about but quite frankly, I was intimidated to call.  It wasn't like I thought they would be mean to me, but I was nervous that they would look at her hair and think this white woman doesn't have a clue about this poor baby's hair.  But in the end, I knew that what I don't know can ruin her hair and I want her to be proud of her gorgeous curly hair.  I know that hair is very important to African/African-American women and I don't want to do anything that could make her feel bad about hers.  So I bit the bullet and I made an appointment for today. 

So this morning we go to BB Hair Salon in North Billerica, MA.  This was the best hair experience I have ever had and I feel like a fool for not going sooner.  The women that worked there were so warm and lovely to Grace.  She isn't a big fan of having her hair fiddled with so she was a little apprehensive.  Plus, she needs a few minutes to warm up to people.  These ladies were really gentle with her and were so kind.  One of the women is from Africa herself, although I can't recall which country. I guess once I relaxed and stopped being so nervous I flaked out a bit After I talked to the stylist about what I needed she said "I really appreciate you bringing her in.  I know as a mom that sometimes it's really hard to admit when aren't sure how to do something for our kids."  She just really put me at ease.  I told her what our haircare ritual was and she said I was definitely on the right track but that we needed to use different products.  I asked a million questions and she was just so patient and answered every single one of them. She said we needed products with more oil in it since her hair really needs that.  So she put Moroccan oil in her hair and brushed it all out, then used some styling cream and put it into pony tails.  They just looked so much better than when I do it because I never got her hair smooth.  She has these ringlets at the front that I had stopped combing out because they got frizzy but they told me to go ahead and comb them.  She also said that I can use regular baby shampoo since she still has her baby hair, and gave me a shampoo she recommended that I use once a month for a good cleansing.  She said her hair texture is going to change again when the rest of her baby hair falls out and that's when she'll need a trim but for now we're back on the right track and now I have a place to go for styling, braids, or even just reassurance. They told me that they have about a dozen clients or so who are white and have African children. They also said I can call them any time with questions. If you need a hair salon for your child and you live anywhere near North Billerica, MA I would HIGHLY recommend this salon.  I can imagine us going to them for years. Tonight we used the new shampoo and I can already tell the difference with that and the Moroccan oil.  Her hair is so soft and it was so easy to comb through (with the new comb we bought).  Seriously, it's the best 45 minutes I have spent and I really wish I had done this sooner.  It's really important to talk to someone who can really understand how to care for their hair. 

So I am no longer intimidated about Grace's hair because I now have the tools to take great care of it.  I really should have done this months ago.  I guess I'm just a little slow on the uptake sometimes, but I think I may be learning my lesson.

What to think

Sometimes I just don't know what to call these posts.  This is one of those times. 

Several weeks ago Grace started saying dada. She never directed it towards anyone, at least not that I heard. It was really just the typical babble that most babies have.  Fast forward to this weekend when I was pretty sure I heard her referring to my brother-in-law Dennis as dada.  It was confirmed tonight when he came home from work and we were still up at their house and she stood at the gate when he walked in and yelled Dada!  Turns out that she's said this several times before and while we were on vacation she called my other brother-in-law Kevin dada too.  Now, I couldn't pick two better men for her to think of as father figures.  I adore my brother-in-laws and they are beyond wonderful to Grace and love her completely.  Since we live downstairs from my sister and brother-in-law, I was expecting that at some point she would call him Dada.  And it doesn't upset me, in fact, in some ways it makes me really happy because she knows that they are special and that she really loves them, so they must be like a daddy.  Plus, she hears them called daddy all the time.  But if I am being honest with myself, it makes me a little sad.  At 16 months she knows that other people have daddy's and while she doesn't yet realize that she doesn't that day is coming.  I wonder if she will feel cheated that she doesn't have a dad around.  I wonder if there will be a hole in her that just a mommy can't fill.  Deep down I know that I have filled her life with men who will fulfill that daddy role in many, many ways.  She has my dad, my two wonderful brother-in-laws, and wonderful uncles who I have no doubt we can and will call on in a moments notice.  But it probably won't be the same.  I knew all of this before I decided to adopt.  I thought long and hard about whether it was fair to a child to bring them into a family knowing that there isn't a dad.  Ultimately, I am comfortable with my decision and of course, hope that some day there is the possibility that I will meet a great guy that Grace and I both love.  But if it doesn't happen, I know we have great men to be role models and supports in her life.  But it still makes me a little sad. 

When I called my sister Amy to tell her about it, she asked me how I handled it.  I told her I said oh, Gracie, did you see Uncle Dennis?  Oh I bet you're so happy to see him.  She clapped and batted her eyes at him like she usually does.  I'm not going to tell her not to call him dada because she obviously feels very close to him and thinks of him as a daddy figure.  I don't want to discourage that and I don't want her to grow up thinking it's wrong to think of him that way.  So we'll keep referring to him as uncle Dennis and if she calls him dada for a while it's OK, with him, with Grace and with me.

Summer Fun, Friends and Family

What a fun summer we've had.  We had a great vacation, visits with friends and family and just lots of good playtime.  I was lucky enough to have Fridays off for the summer and I have loved having the extra full day to spend with Grace.  Sadly, tomorrow is our first Friday back, but it was great while it lasted.

Last Friday we had a play date with Ermiyas and his mom at a great play ground.  Ermiyas' parents and I were in the same travel group and while we live pretty close to each other, it took us a while to make the schedules work.  But it was worth the wait.  Ermiyas is a lovely, sweet, outgoing boy and he was beyond sweet with Grace.  While she was contemplating going down the slide he stood at the bottom and said "Gracie, I catch you, I catch you!"  Don't they look adorable? 

We also had the pleasure of a great visit with my friend Brenda and her family.  This was Brenda's first time meeting Grace and introducing her to her son Thomas who is almost 15 months.  He and Grace had a lot of fun together and got along well.  We went to the aquarium and did some sight seeing and just had a lot of fun together.  Below is a picture of the two of us and our babies.  It's hard to imagine that 20 years ago we were in college and having fun and here were are now raising our kids together.  How lucky I am so be able to do this with her.  I just wish they lived closer. 

We also got to spend last Friday night with my aunt and uncle and cousins.  It's rare that every one's schedule jives at the same time but it worked out that most of us could get together and we just had a great time.  My aunt and uncle gave Grace a little tike's slide that has made the rounds in their neighborhood and they thought she might get a kick out of it.  Wow, were they right.  She LOVES that slide.

Grace is walking really well now.  She isn't crawling at all anymore and just loves to walk everywhere.  As you can imagine, she is into absolutely everything but she's so much fun.  She's like a little parrot repeating everything you say.  She soaks up everything like a sponge.  She is doing really great.  As usual the only concern is her weight.  She is currently 15 pounds 14 0z which for a 16 moth old is on the small side.  Of course, she gets mistaken for a 9 month old and twice I have been stopped in a store only to have the other person tell me they thought she was a doll.  Not that she looked like a doll but that they thought I had a doll sitting in the front seat of my carriage.  I know she's small but she certainly isn't quiet and really, who walks around Target with a baby doll in the front seat of their carriage?  Well....two people think I do.  Her GI doctor has put her on an appetite stimulant to see if that will help her gain faster.  So far I would say that I see a small improvement but I'll wait until we see the nutritionist in a few weeks to be sure.

I look forward to enjoying what's left of the summer but I am really looking forward to the fall.  Did I mention I bought her Halloween Costume?  Yup, I'm that person that you're thinking about when you see costumes in August and think who is crazy enough to buy a costume now.  And now you have your answer...her name is Beth.  But in my defense, I had a specific costume in mind and I needed to make sure I got the wright size.  Can you guess what she's going to be?  I bet you can!