Feeling Optimistic

This week has been a good week for me. I still expect to wait another couple of months but there has been movement on the waiting list. After no referrals in February, it seems like the drought has ended and several referrals were announced this week. One of the referrals was for a friend of mine who is also a single parent. She is part of my waiting family support group and she and I and a couple of other single ladies meet for dinner before our meeting. She got her referral on Wednesday for a 5 month old baby girl. She's teeny but has the most amazing brown eyes I have ever seen. What a joy it was to see the pictures last night and hear all about "The Call". It seems like a tangible reminder that at some point, this is going to happen for me.

Maybe this is a good time to explain what "The call" is. "The call" is when my case worker Emily calls me and tells me that they have a referral for me. She'll call me at one of the 75 numbers I have left for her to let me know who my punkin is. She will tell me the name, gender, age and region where the Punkin is from. She will then send me an e-mail with 1-2 pictures, a medical history and any background information on the child. I will then send that information over to an international pediatrician who will review the information and will call me on the phone to discuss the case. If all goes well, I will then accept the referral and then my agency will start the legal procedures in Ethiopia. Now, I know that many people will wait to tell people until they get the ok from the pediatrician. I don't imagine I will be one of those people. I can't imagine hanging onto that kind of information. My guess is that I'll be crying and carrying on so much that you'll hear me from wherever you are. My guess is that I will make phone calls and e-mails the second I get the news. I will also try to update the blog with details of the call but I am not allowed to post pictures on any Internet site until after I have passed court in Ethiopia which is approximately 2-5 months after the referal. I do believe I am able to e-mail the picture as long as you agree not to post it so you won't have to wait to see them. I know you're all getting as anxious as I am. In fact, two of my co-workers have had dreams that I got my referral. Neither one remembers if it was a boy or a girl, they just remember that we were all running around crying and yelling. Since I will likely get the call while I am work, it's really nice to know that there will be so many people around that will celebrate with me.

I have waited so long for this child that sometimes it seems like it will never happen. My niece Meghan will occasionally ask me if the baby is still coming because it's been a long time we've been talking about it and she's not here yet. She told me she wants a boy to even up the numbers but she thinks it will be a girl and her name will be Hannah like Hannah Montana. I told her that was reason enough not to name her that and she said, "well, I could get over the Hannah Montana if I had to. I could probably call her just Hannah if that woul do it". She cracks me up. I still haven't decided on the girl's name but I am heavily favoring Grace these days so we'll see.

Well, that's all for now. Let's hope that month number 10 brings good news.

Not Much to Report

So, Here we are, in month 8 of "the wait". Honestly, there isn't a lot new on the adoption front. Based on the wait times of families receiving recent referrals, I expect that May is the earliest I would see a referral and it could be longer than that. It just seems impossible to predict. Then once I receive a referral I would travel about 2-6 months after that. When I started the process travel times were about 2-4 months. With the increases in adoptions the courts are just backed up with cases and it's taking longer to get court dates. So in the meantime, I just try to be as patient as I can, which most days is a struggle, and I just remember that it will happen when it's supposed to happen.

In the meantime, I try to remember to be grateful for the good things in my life. I thought putting them in writing would be a good way to do that so here are some of them.

1. My god daughter Erin. For her birthday I took her to the American Girl Place in Natick. We spent the afternoon, had lunch and enjoyed ourselves to the fullest. It was so great to have her to myself and you would have thought I took her to Disney World. She's a delight.

2. My godson David and his two sisters Lauren and Renee. They live in Florida now but when I do see them, they make me feel like they've been waiting their whole lives to see me. It's like we're together all the time even though we only see each other once or twice a year.

3. For good music. I can lose myself for hours just singing along with the IPOD or listening to whatever random song comes into my head. My IPOD is a very eclectic mix these days. You might hear a little Dionne Warwick, a little Cold Play, Barenaked ladies, Def Leppard(I am a child of the 80's after all, and let's face it, they were one of the very best hair bands), a little temptations, Kenny Chesney, a lot of Jason Mraz, Plain White Tee's or Beyonce. Like I've said before, I like pretty much everything except Gangsta rap and Gregorian Chant.

4. Books. I like to read and I LOVE to re-read favorite books. I started re-reading a Prayer for Owen Meaney by John Irving. If you haven't read it, I recommend it highly. Very quirky but worth all the time you put into it.

5. The Hallmark Channel. I admit it. My name is Beth and I have a sappy movie addiction. If there were a support group for this I would be the president. I am a sucker for quirky love stories where two people who aren't supposed to be compatible somehow end up falling in love. If only my love life would work out like a TV movie!

6. Electric Blanket. The. Best. Invention. EVER. Seriously. I'm cold all the time and this miracle invention has brightened my life(and sadly, I'm not joking).

7. American Idol. It's back, I'm obsessed, enough said.

8. Diners, Drive-In's and Dives. It's a must see on the Food Network. It lets me experience all this delicious food without having to feel guilty about the calories.

9. Varitek re-signed with the Sox. My baseball season can now begin.

10. My sisters. I don't know where I would be without them. I talk to one and or both of them at least once a day if not more(which is sort of amazing since I hate to talk on the phone). I can not imagine that there are three sisters as close as the three of us. Given our age gap, you wouldn't think that would be the case, but I think it came down to good parenting. My dad used to tell us that we were all on the same team and a team always sticks together. I remember being about 12 and thinking that I would like to be traded but in hindsight, I feel so grateful to have them. They're incredible parents and I can only hope to be as good at it as they are. But man, I'm sure gonna try.

11. Spell-check. You would be horrified at my inability to spell.

Signs, Signs, Everywhere there's Signs!!

Welcome to Month Number Seven of Waiting for My Punkin to Come. In all honesty, I feel pretty good so far this month. I feel optimistic with the new year beginning and am hopeful that I'm getting closer to getting a referral. I still don't have a time frame but if I were a betting woman, I would expect something around May, but man, I would love to see it happen earlier.

So in December I went to see Harry Connick Jr. at the Colonial Theatre. He was fantastic. He played a mixture of Christmas Music and Blues. He's unbelievably entertaining. Anyway, before the show Kate and I went to dinner at PF Chang (so yummy!). Anyway, after the meal, I got my fortune cookie. Now, I don't usually pay much attention to fortune cookies but this one caught my attention. It said, "You will get what your heart desires". That piqued my interest. On the back of the fortune was a word written both in English and Chinese. What was the word you ask? Come on.... think, think, think!! Give up? It was Pumpkin. Now if that isn't a sign, then I don't know what is. I mean, what are the chances of THAT word being written on the back of THAT fortune? To me, it was another reminder that I just have to keep plowing through what feels like an endless wait. It will happen.

So what am I doing to pass the wait? I'm buying children books. I bought Baby Flaherty the Polar Express Book for Christmas. I can't wait for next year when we're sitting in the living room reading it together and celebrating our first Christmas as a family of two! I'm also reading books about parenting, parenting a child of another race and of another culture. And then I'll continue reading about Ethiopia and learning as much as I possibly can. American Idol also starts tonight (God Bless America!) so that will help pass the time. At least I can sing with the show (or cringe depending on the contestant) while I'm waiting for my Punkin to come.

The Gift That Gives Back

For Christmas my Aunt Wendy and Uncle Hank gave me a beautiful diamond and malachite bracelet (see picture below). I love it not only because it's lovely, which it is, but because portions of the proceeds go to support the Diamond Empowerment Fund (DEF), a non profit international organization which contributes all resources to educational programs in Africa. I was so touched that the gift I got was not only for me, but in a small way, for the Punkin and others in Africa who really need the help.

The punkin also received two very special books for Christmas. The first was from Auntie Kate, Uncle Dennis and Meghan and Jake.


The second was from Auntie Amy, Uncle Kevin, Nate, Sarah and Bingo.



Both books are beautifully illustrated and have people from all nationalities and backgrounds in them. I never realized how white picture books were until I tried to look at them from the perspective of a little Ethiopian Child. So I'm constantly on the hunt for picture books that have a bigger color palate, and a good story too! If you come across any in your travels let me know.

I hope everyone had a great and safe holiday. I'm looking forward to having the next week off from work and I know my filthy house is looking forward to being cleaned. I hope the new year brings you hope, laughter and love. And I hope it brings me my Punkin! If you can't tell, I'm getting a little anxious over here.

Not Much to Say

So, I haven't blogged lately because, really, there's nothing to report. I have been officially on the wait list for over 6 months and I'm not sure how much longer it will be. I'm hoping February but it will likely be longer than that. If I let myself, and I occasionally do, I can really get down about it. I miss my punkin and I want them home with me. I suppose for many it's difficult to imagine missing someone you don't even know but for me, it's really true. So instead of having another pity party, I'm going to list things that I am grateful for. Warning: These are not likely to be profound.

1. A brother-in-law named Kevin who can and will fix my computer for free when it's broken or when it's not really broken but I some how managed to mess something up.

2. A brother-in-law named Dennis who comes down and fixes stuff for me without thinking I'm a huge pain in the butt(we all know I'm a small pain in the butt).

3. A niece named Sarah who called me on the eve of the election to hear my stance on Prop. 8 which was the ballot question in California to ban same sex marriage. I have never heard a child so articulately express her opinion on a pretty complex matter. While we shared the same opinion(to legalize same sex marriage) I found it refreshing how she was able to debate the question with people who differed in their opinion and still be respectful. She's an extraordinary girl.

4. A nephew named Nate who loves all Boston sports and has a wicked sense of humor and a heart as deep as the ocean and as big as the tallest mountain. I love that boy.

5. Music. I love pretty much all types of music except for Gregorian chant. I am especially digging Jason Mraz these days. Actually, the title of this blog is a play on one of his songs. His song curbside prophet has a line in it titled waiting for my rocket to come. I changed it to punkin and I sing it every time I log onto this blog.

6. A sister Kate who makes me coffee and reduced fat Cinnamon rolls on Monday night while we watch the Big Bang Theory, which, for the record is the best show on TV.

7. A friend named Karen who struck up a conversation in the middle of Disney World with a woman who adopted a little boy from Ethiopia, and then politely grilled her for information. Not everyone has friends who would do that.

8. YouTube. Self-explanatory!

9. A job I love. In tough economic times, I'm just grateful to have a job, but especially grateful to have a job that I love, feel challenged in and have the opportunity to help someone fund their education.

10. A sister named Amy who calls me in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner at her California family's house to ask me who sang "To Sir, With Love". It's LuLu in case you were wondering. She thinks I'm her human juke box and I get a big chuckle out of her calling me at random times and saying, hey, who sings.........

Actually, this was kind of fun. I think I'll try this again some time.

In the meantime, if you're looking for a good cause and a fun pair of shoes, go to http://www.tomsshoes.com

Making Progress

So I've been off for the past couple of days and one of my goals was to work on clearing out my computer and bookshelf from the punkins room. I am happy to report that I have been successful and here's the pictures to prove it.

I'm leaving the couch in the room for now. I have read and heard that kids sometimes have some anxiety sleeping by themselves when they get home. It's a result of being in large rooms with so many other kids. So if I need to, I will sleep in there on the couch. I think it will be easier to transition myself out of their room instead of transitioning them out of mine.

The crib will go where the lamp is. I am borrowing Jacobs crib but he's not quite ready to get out of it.

The blue and white blanket was made by my friend Karen McCabe's mother. I went to a fundraiser that Karen had for her foundation the Five Project. It's an organization that helps families in China and the US who have children with Autism. The blanket was a raffle and I was so hoping to win it and I did. Perhaps it's a sign that the punkin is a boy.

The Painting was an auction item at the fundraiser. I thought it was a perfect picture for the Punkins Room. A little reminder that they had a first mom that loved them before they come home to me.

Well, that's all the news for now. I keep waiting for the day when I have BIG news to post.

Two Sides of the Family

When I started the adoption process there were a lot of things I worried about. One in particular was that the baby wouldn't have a father. Actually, I have to say that it wasn't so much the father part since I have so many great males in my family who I know will be great male influences. I guess my real concern was that they would only end up with one side of the family. I always enjoyed having my mom's side and my dad's side. Though we were always closer to my mom's side, my dad's side had a lot more aunts and uncles and cousins and though I didn't see them that often, I liked knowing there were so many of them.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I realize that the punkin will have two sides. The mommy's family side and the mommy's family of friends side.

The mommy's family side consists of my dad and step mom, my sisters Amy and Kate and their husbands Kevin and Dennis and their amazing children Nate, Sarah, Meghan and Jake. It also includes my Aunt Wendy and Uncle Hank who are like a second set of parents, my cousin Ann and her husband Jon and Ella and Caleb, my cousin Jenny and Ethan and my cousin Eric. Not to mention all my cousins, (especially my cousin Erin whose always seems to send me a friendly e-mail just when I think the waiting is about to make me crack. Her timing is always impeccable), aunts, uncles and family friends on both sides. I know that I have an incredible support team and I know how lucky I am but a child can never have enough people that love them.

For those who know me well, you realize that I don't make friends that easily. I have lots of acquaintances and people I enjoy but I have a very small group of true blue friends that I cherish. They are the people that read this blog religiously(even though hardly anyone uses the comments section!), are calling or e-mailing to check in on me and how the process is going and are waiting for the day I call or e-mail with the good news of who my punkin is and when I'll bring her or him home. These are the people that will be the "other side" of the family. They include, but are not limited to, Karen and Jimmy who I've mentioned before, and their four kids. Ellen and Jon and their three kids. Ellen and is my friend that I met in the seventh grade and we've been there for each other ever since. And even though they're in Florida now, the separation hasn't made a difference. There's Andrea and Rob and their dog Austin who live in Ohio. Andrea and I met over 7 years ago when we both worked at Lesley University. I think it took about a half a week for us to become buddies and we've been super close ever since. She and Rob are gentle souls and I feel so grateful to have them in my life. Then there's Cyn, the Big Meanie, my roommate my senior year of college. On paper there probably aren't two people who had less in common than she and I did but we just clicked. We have that kind of friendship where you don't need to talk often or give the friendship a lot of maintenance. We have the kind of friendship that you can come back to and every time it's like you never left. And her and her husband Mark and their dog Sammy Davison Jr live nearby in New Hampshire. Let's not forget Brenda and Bill in Delaware, even though he is an orioles fan. Brenda was one of my college room mates and one of the first friends I met in college. And of course I can't forget Amy and Jim and Olivia in Kansas. Amy, Brenda and I were college roommates and they are responsible for some of my fondest memories. I doubt the punkin would have gotten that many people out of a dad's side of the family! I feel grateful for the people in my life and the laughter, fun and friendship that we have shared. And I'm so glad that that they'll be the aunts, uncles and cousins that make up the second side of the family. Now if you'd all move closer I'd be a really happy girl.

If I didn't mention you it isn't because you're not important, it's just that I have to save some of you for other posts.

I guess the point of this post is to remind me that there are things in life that work themselves out and family is one of them. Some people have family, some people have a family of friends. I'm lucky enough to have both.