Since I'm new to this blogging thing I'm not always sure what to write about. So today I thought I would answer some of the questions I'm most commonly asked by friends and family about the process.
Why did you decide to adopt? I knew I wanted to be a mom and while I would be happy to give birth, it just wasn't something I felt I had to do to become a mother. Adoption is near and dear to my heart as I have three cousins who were adopted from Korea as infants/toddlers. Adoption is natural for my family. I consider myself a mom who needs a child. Somewhere in Ethiopia is a child who needs me to be their mom.
How did you decide on Ethiopia? In some ways, I feel like Ethiopia chose me. There are certainly practical reasons for why Ethiopia. The first being that as a single female, there are certain countries that would not allow me to adopt. Ethiopia is a program that is open to single females so clearly, that was a plus. I will be traveling to bring my Punkin home and some countries require multiple trips sometimes for several weeks at a time. Ethiopia requires a one week stay in country. Since I'm the sole provider for this little family I'm creating, that plays a major factor. I can still make the trip and have my maternity leave as well. Multiple trips just wouldn't work for me. I was also incredibly impressed with the care that the children receive at the orphanage. They are cared for by nannies and seem to have a lot of love and attention and I think that's key in terms of being able to attach when they come home. If you've loved and been loved before, you'll be able to do that again in most cases. The final and most unscientific, but very best reason for me is that I just feel like that's where my child is.
When will you bring your Punkin home? That my friends is the $64,000 question. I have requested a child of either gender from 0-24 months. Being that I am with a very reputable agency that has a long standing program in Ethiopia, I have a significant wait ahead of me. I estimate that I could wait at least 9-10 months and possibly longer. I also guess that my punkin will likely be in the 18-24 month range as the wait for that age group doesn't tend to be as long as it is for infants. Your wait is over when you get a call from your agency telling you that you have a referral. That means that you have been matched with a child and you'll get pictures and whatever health information is available. Once you accept the referral you wait to travel which can happen approximately 2-4 months from referral acceptance.
Are you traveling alone to Ethiopia? Thankfully, no. I had planned to travel by myself. I didn't ask anyone to come with me initially because I felt like I should be able to pay their travel expenses if I'm asking them to take a 20 hour plane ride to a developing country. Since I am more than able to cover mine and the Punkin Babies expenses, but not a companions, I thought I'd go solo. Lucky for me....my family doesn't work that way. They had a family meeting(which they didn't invite me to) and decided who was traveling with me. My travel peeps will be my younger sister Kate and my step-mom Judi. I feel beyond fortunate that they'll be with me to share this life changing experience. I expect they will become my eyes and ears since I'm predicting I'll be a sobbing heap once I meet my punkin for the first time.
Are you allowed to change their birth name? Yes. I am allowed to change the name should I choose to. I spent a lot of time deciding if I would or wouldn't do this. In the end, I have opted to give them a name of my choosing. They will keep their Ethiopian name as one of their middle names since that's a piece of them given by their birth family and I don't want to take that away. However, I also want them to carry with them something I gave them as well, so their first name I will change. The boys name is going to be Noah Richard. Noah because I have always adored that name. Richard for my daddy. I can't think of a better person for a little boy to learn from and if I can be a quarter of the parent my dad was, I will consider myself a great success. The jury is still out on the girl's name. I thought I was set on Maggie, which I still love, but my niece Meghan who lives upstairs from me is called Meggie. So if we have a Maggie and a Meggie, we could all be very confused. I have several other names I'm thinking of and I will report those in another post as this one is getting way too long. I do know for sure that the middle name will be Elizabeth. Elizabeth is a tribute to my mother. And yes, everyone, I know that her name was Dorothy, but we all know she HATED her name and if I named a child that she would surely come a haunting me. So, Elizabeth is for my mom's beloved maternal grandmother, Elizabeth Maguire. I like that my punkin will carry a little piece of both my parents with them.
