A Couple Of New Pictures

I still haven't worked out the camera thing yet but I do have a couple of pictures to share. Auntie Andrea and Uncle Rob (my very dear friends) gave Grace and I a gift certificate to have her pictures taken. We had the photos done on Tuesday and I have to say, they're pretty spectacular. She was a little hesitant at first but then her cousin Jacob, who came along for moral support, started singing and dancing for her and that just turned the smiles on. The black and white dress is her Christmas dress and the other dress is one I bought in Ethiopia. She wore it to the coffee ceremony and I just thought it would be great to have a formal picture in it as well. I had to pin the dress as it's still too big on her but I am thrilled with how the pictures turned out.

This one I had done in a black and white and framed and matted. It's positively gorgeous and I should be able to pick it up tomorrow.

We had early intervention out on Monday and it was a great experience. There were three clinicians and they were all really great. Grace does qualify for services for fine and gross motor skills as she measured at a 6 month level. I should hear in the next week or so about scheduling the sessions. Overall, they were quite impressed with her and it was amazing to see how far she has come in the past month. The baby who toppled over when I sat her up can now sit up by herself for over 2 minutes. Quite a big improvement. One of the ladies was working with Grace and she held her hand up and Grace slapped it and she laughed and said, it's like she's trying to high five me. And I said, she is high fiving you. Her cousin Nate taught that to her and if she sees an open hand she'll slap it. When I told Nate he was very impressed that she remembered what he taught her.

Tomorrow we're going to attempt to go to Social Security to get her a social security card. I will have to update the paperwork and do a name change once the adoption is final but I don't want to wait until all of that happens before we get the card. I'd rather just do the update.

The other night I was sitting on the couch giving Grace her bedtime bottle. She often likes to take breaks while eating so I had her standing up on my leg and she was facing me and she broke into a big toothless grin and planted a sloppy kiss on my lips and then snuggled into my shoulder. If feelings could be described in dollars then this was a trillion dollar feeling. All we were doing was sitting on the couch playing and making noises at each other and yet there was such a sense of joy surrounding us and it was like she felt it too. I always had a soft heart but motherhood has turned me into a giant mushball and I couldn't be happier.

I know that my blog sounds full of sunshine and lollipops, and for those of you who know me well, it's not usually who I am. There are hard parts of parenting like when your underweight daughter doesn't want to eat and you don't know how else to coax her into doing it. Or when she wails and it's not a hungry, wet or sick cry or when you feel like you're supposed to know to do something and then realize it never occurred to you. I know that I could still be in the honeymoon phase and I know it's going to get a lot harder and it's all going to be on me. Yet, I feel like I'm ready to handle whatever comes our way. I can't ever recall feeling that way before, but then again, I can't recall having ever been this happy before.

So Much To Say

It feels like I have so much to say but I don't know where to start so I have avoided a real update. But it's the new year, so it's time to stop procrastinating. As of Tuesday we will have been home exactly a month and I will have had Grace in my arms for five weeks. I never realized just how empty I felt until I held her in my arms for the first time. I felt peaceful and calm and content. Sometimes I find myself sitting on the couch giving her a bottle and I just can't believe that she's really mine and I get to love her forever.

I have to say that in scheme of things, our transition has gone very smoothly. She was never strange with me even from the very first meeting. She smiled at me and looked at me with her big beautiful eyes and I completely melted. Our first night home I worried about whether she would sleep in her own room or be scared or cry or be off her schedule. I put her down at 7:30 that night, kissed her good night,turned off the light and she was out until 1;30, woke for a bottle, then went back to bed and slept until 5:30. By the end of the first week, she was sleeping through the night. I know, I'm a lucky mom but my girl loves to sleep. After her bottle we go into her room, change her diaper and put her in her sleep sack. As soon as she sees the sleep sack she starts smiling and kicks her feet because she knows she's going to sleep. I read her a story, put her in her crib, she smiles like crazy at me and looks up her mobile. I wind up the mobile and she puts her two fingers in her mouth and she's out for the count. When I get her up in the morning she is smiling at me as if she's just been waiting to see me. She's just a delight.

We have had many doctor appointments and all in all she's doing really well. She's still pretty small for nine months. We saw the international pediatrician on December 22nd and they changed her formula to neosure which is usually given to preemies. The neosure has more calories and that's really what Grace needs. She has been eating it without any problems and she's put on about 7 ounces in the past week (we had a weight check when I took her in for an ear infection last week) so I know it's working. They were impressed with how alert she is, how she tracks well, has a good grip etc. but they think she's behind on some of the milestones because of her weight. When I got to Ethiopia I was told that she had actually spent a lot more time on the feeding tube that I had realized. She had trouble developing her sucking ability and I think that held her back on her eating. She's up to about 6 ounces a feeding now and we started rice cereal which didn't go well at first. The first week she just cried and spit it out at me. She is one stubborn girl. She can clamp her mouth shut like nobodies business. I mean, I practically had to pry her lips open to get the cereal in and then she would spit it at me. The doctor suggested I try mixing it with fruit or vegetables. I tried bananas and that was a no go but then I tired sweet potato's and that was better. Today was day three of operation sweet potato's and there was no crying or screaming. Yesterday she screamed so hard that her whole body shook and then once I calmed her down she slept for two hours. Today I tried something different at the suggestion of my sister Amy. She suggested that I give her her own spoon to play with while I have a separate spoon. I put a little bit of the cereal on her spoon and she put that in her mouth. Turns out my daughter is a bit of a control freak and likes to be in charge. Just another sign that she's meant to be a Flaherty.

Tomorrow we meet with Early Intervention and I am really looking forward to what they have to say. I think she will qualify for services and I am really anxious to get started on getting her up to speed. I'll post what they had to say.

We had a fantastic holiday. My sister Amy and her family came in from California and it was their first time meeting Grace. Let's just say that I had to frisk them on the way out to make sure they didn't take her with them. She loved them as much as they loved her. She met all kinds of friends and family at Christmas and she did so well. She isn't really strange with people but she does need to know that I'm in the room or hear my voice. As long as she can keep track of me she's OK. The day after Christmas we had pictures taken of all five grandchildren in their matching Christmas jammies. They came out so cute and I can pick them up on Thursday. The photo session did alert me to a quality about myself that I was previously unaware of. If left to my own devices, I could be a stage mother. It was embarrassing. I kept telling the poor girl how to position Grace, having the older kids make sure her head was up....I was such a goober. My sisters have still not let me live that down. I'm having her pictures done on Tuesday so I will be sure to keep myself in check this time!

I had my first uncomfortable encounter. I went into Sally Beauty Supply to see if they could give me some suggestions on products for Grace's hair. I went in with my sister and we met these two pleasant ladies who fawned all over Grace and kept saying she was so tiny. I told them she was 8 months old and then I felt like they must be wondering why I waited 8 months to do something about her hair so I mentioned that we had just gotten home from Ethiopia. One of the clerks looked at her, touched her cheek and said, I can't believe anyone would abandon anyone as beautiful as you. I didn't know what to say, which infuriated me. She wasn't rude, but I was just so shocked that she would make a comment, even though it wasn't mean spirited. But Grace wasn't abandoned and I don't understand why someone would assume she was. I was really more annoyed at myself because I didn't know how to respond so I said nothing. I think I am especially sensitive to this because I met her birth father. I won't share details of the meeting on my blog as I believe it's Grace's story to tell, but I will say that she was not given up because she wasn't loved or because she was an inconvenience. Having met her father, I can tell you without hesitation that he loves that baby and if he thought he had any other option, he would have taken it. I think that he is secure in his decision and knows that she will have a very good life with me, but it doesn't make the decision any less excruciating. If I were to encounter the same situation today I would respond, she wasn't abandoned, she has another family that loves her very much but their situation did not allow for them to care for her the way she deserved. I know this won't be the last time it comes up and it could be in a more disagreeable way so I need to get my standard answers in place.

So all in all, life is very good in our household. I am busier than ever yet most of the time I'm at home and I couldn't really point to what I have accomplished other than a happy baby girl and really, what more could you want.

Sorry there are no pictures this post. My camera is being wonky. I'll post pictures as soon as I get it worked out.