561,948 Minutes and Counting

So as of today, I have been waiting 1 year, 3 weeks and 4 days for a referral. That roughly translates to 561,948 minutes. There is a part of me that just wants to scream and yell because that's way too many minutes to wait. I think of all the minutes I am spending apart from the Punkin and I worry about the time lost and the things I'm missing. Then I try to settle myself down(some days it's easier than others)and remember that I am not the only one hurting here. Somewhere in Ethiopia there is a family that had to make a heart breaking decision to relinquish custody of their child or the child in their care. Not because they don't love them, not because they don't want them but because they can not provide the most basic of their needs. I can't even fathom what that must be like though I do try to multiple times a day. Adoption is such a mix of emotions. I am obviously thrilled to be on the threshold of mommy hood, but in order for me to have the great joy of raising this child, some other family has to have the great sorrow of letting them go. It's a hard thing to reconcile. And honestly, I don't think I ever want to. I can not for one minute take for granted the sacrifice the Punkins first family had to make and the journey that brings both of our families together. So while the minutes tick away, I need to step back and remember that it's not all about me. There is another family that will miss out on millions of minutes of the Punkins life and they will always grieve for the child I'll have the privilege of raising. There won't be a minute of my life when I don't respect and appreciate that sacrifice.