Referral-Versary

One year ago today I saw this face for the very first time.

I must have looked at those pictures at least a hundred times that day.  I still remember every detail of the day and the phone call telling me that I had a daughter.  I remember running up and down the hallway at work telling everyone that the long awaited call had finally come.  My co-workers ran back with me to look over my shoulder as I showed her picture on my computer screen.  I remember calling my sisters and e-mailing the pictures and crying with them.  I was in such a fog I didn't realize that there were actually two pictures that were sent with the referral information. Thank goodness for my sister Amy who mentioned it to me.  I remember calling my dad and hearing the overwhelming excitement in his voice.  I remember meeting my family for dinner that night and my step-mom had already loaded her picture onto her phone.  It was a fantastic day, a fantastic feeling.  After all the angst and uncertainty and waiting, I finally knew who my punkin was.  To me it was finally seeing who I had been hoping, praying , wishing and working towards for so many years....my child.

I know that the process and emotions are different for every family.  When I first started the process I requested a child of either gender, 0-24 months.  Based on the wait time and trends at the time I got on the waiting list, I assumed it was more likely that my child would be a boy in the 18-24 month  range.  I had absolutely no preference but again, I thought it would be a boy.  When I got the call I was shocked and thrilled to learn that the punkin was a four month old baby girl.  The moment I saw her picture it was clear to me that she was the child I was waiting for.  I loved her instantly and to be quite honest, it scared me a little. It's a strange feeling to just give your self over to another person you've never met and have no idea how they will accept you.  At the same time, I just knew it was right.  She is supposed to be my daughter, I am supposed to be her mother.  The circumstances that brought us together as a family are tragic.  I think about her birth family daily, but especially today.  Because of their love for her and their  desire for her to have more than they could provide, I have a beautiful, funny, sassy, head strong daughter who is napping in the next room.  I have more than I could have ever hoped for.  I'm rich beyond words and not in the monetary sense but in all the ways that really matter. 

The day I got her referral was the best day of my life to that date.  I couldn't imagine that it was possible to be more excited and thrilled than I felt at that moment.  Now here I am a year later and I still feel that way.  Even though parenting is not easy and it definitely comes with bouts of uncertainty, I thank my lucky stars that the stars aligned and we ended up together

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Today, we took this picture.  I think we make a pretty good pair.

Back to Reality

Well, we're back from two weeks in Colorado and I have to say, we had a fantastic trip.  Grace did really well on the flights and she just adapted so well to all the changes and new people.  She had an absolute blast with her cousins and met some extended cousins(my brother-in-law Kevin's family).  She also decided that there was something about the air in Colorado that made her want to walk and she took her first steps the day we arrived.  She is now taking about 8-9 steps at a time but is still crawling a lot since it's faster.

We had so many fun things happen on this trip.  Grace and I were able to rent a car and drive to Pueblo to meet up with my dear friend, and former college roommate Amy and her delightful daughter Olivia.  Amy and I haven't seen each other since she moved to Kansas about 8 years ago.  Olivia was a baby the last time I saw her and it was such a treat to see what a wonderful young girl she has become, not to mention that she is cute as a button and reminds me SO much of her mom.  It was so great to see them and it was a joy to introduce them to Grace.  It's amazing to see how our lives have progressed but I'm so glad that we're still friends after all these years.  So many of my favorite college memories are wrapped up in Amy. 

Our first week in Colorado was spent in Denver so I could attend a conference.  My sister Amy and her family drove in from California to watch Grace while I was at the conference and she had so much fun with them.  The second week was spent at an amazing house in the mountains in Breckenridge.  I swear Colorado is the only place I could imagine leaving New England for.  We spent the week with both my sisters and their families and my brother-in-laws family and it was so much fun to get all the kids together.  They all got along as if they had been together for years.  It was so much fun for them to see Grace and she just loved them all.  The highlight of her vacation was getting my nephew Nate to play his ring tone over and over again.  It's Justin Biebers song Baby.  I don't get Justin Bieber, but clearly my daughter does because every time he played it for her she got down with her bad self. 

Jones, Flaherty and Walsh kids

So, you know my beautiful, tiny, 15 pound, almost 16 month old daughter?  Well guess what?  Turns out she is a bit of a bully.  She took out a 5 year old at a play area at the Pueblo mall and a 15 month old who was 10 pounds heavier than her at the Denver Science Museum.  While there is a part of me that's Glad to know she won't let people intimidate her because of her size, I am hoping that she doesn't wind up in juvenile detention before she's five.  I did not witness the episode at the science museum but she was apparently playing at a children's area and she fell in love with this fish named Poppy.  She visited Poppy and then crawled away.  These two other little boys went up to the tank to see Poppy and Grace made a bee line back to the tank except there wasn't really room for her.  However, she managed to squeeze herself in, then pushed her bottom back and knocked over the two little boys.  Yeah, a delicate flower she's not.  The incident at the mall involved a mirror that she was looking in and then she crawled away from.  She then sees a five year old, yes a FIVE year old, out of the corner of her eye playing in the mirror.  She makes a beeline for him and before I can catch her she takes her right arm and sideswipes him, knocking him over.  I think the poor kid was stunned that he was taken out by a baby.  Needless to say she was reprimanded and we left the play place which resulted in the mother of all fits.  Yeah, gotta love this age.  Where is the chapter in all the baby books that talks about your tiny baby bully and how to keep her out of jail?  Seriously, I kid when I say that.  I know it happens with most kids and while I'm glad to see she won't likely be pushed around by other kids, I certainly don't want her pushing them around.  Ahhhhhhh.... the joys of mommy hood.

Grace looking at Poppy the fish

The only down side to our trip was that my nephew Nate had to have an emergency appendectomy on the Wednesday of our second week.  Poor kid was most looking forward to having all his first cousins together and about 15 minutes after they arrived he had to be taken to the emergency room.  I'm happy to say he's doing well after two days in the hospital and surgery.  He's such a trooper.  Most kids would have been complaining and he was worried that he was ruining every one's vacation.  We're so glad he's OK now.

Nate headed into surgery

Well, that about it for now.  Will post again very soon.