My Christmas Wish

Two years ago this month I made the decision to sign with an agency to per sue international adoption. I was elated, thrilled, petrified,terrified and on top of the world. I had spent years putting my life in order in an attempt to make becoming a mother a reality. In my head, I would either be a mother or would be about to be a mother by the following Christmas. Mind you, this was the made up time frame in my mind, not anything anyone had promised me. In reality, I had no clue that by Christmas 2008 I would have only been on the official wait list for 7 months after almost 6 months of home study and dossier paperwork. Last Christmas was my darkest Christmas ever. I was so down in the dumps and disappointed and it was really hard to keep up a good facade. In fact, I did a terrible job of it.

Fast forward to tonight, about 6 minutes to Christmas and life is completely different. In the room next to mine the most precious baby girl is sleeping soundly after meeting and dazzling a few of her extended family. Tonight I put her in her new Christmas Jammies from Auntie Amy and Uncle Kevin (which happen to match her four other cousins) and read her the two special books I picked out for her, one Christmas, one not, which will be our yearly tradition. That wish I have been longing for is now asleep and has no idea that tomorrow will bring more fun and chaos and love then she could ever imagine. And as I held her close tonight, kissed her beautiful head and laid her down in her crib, I thanked my lucky stars for I had no idea that wishes such as mine were answered so perfectly. Though I have had her in my care for just about a month, it is so clear to me that she is the child I wished for. It had to take this long because last year, she wasn't even born yet. I believe that we're both imperfect humans but that we're the perfect fit to be a family. How lucky I am to be Grace's mother and how grateful I am to have such wonderful family and friends to share the joy with.

May this holiday be as blessed for you as it is for me.

She's Putting On Weight!

We had Gracie's follow up appointment today and she has gained 4 oz since last week and.......drum roll please........she weighs 12 pounds!! She's really making great improvements just in the short time she has been home. She had 3 shots and she howled a bit but she did really well. She's such a trooper. She was especially snugly tonight which was fantastic. She gets that I'm her mommy and that I'm her go to person for cuddles and snuggles. I never believed it was possible to love anyone as much as I love this child.

I must say that mother hood has brought about some changes I hadn't quite expected. I thought I would do bit of a count down just to shake things up on the old blog.

1. Before I had Grace, I could not imagine caring about another person's bowel movements. Seriously, I just couldn't fathom that and the second you become a mother you think "Did they poop today? Was it enough? Was it too much? Was it the wrong color?

2. Purses are over rated. I used to love a good purse. Nothing too pricey but the bigger the better. We were home about 24 hours when I discovered that a diaper bag and a baby carrier did not mix with a big ol' purse. I now have a much smaller purse that fits in the diaper bag. High fashion, no, but believe me, less is more.

3. You can pick up the same room 74 times in a day and you will still probably end the day with it being a mess. When it was just me, it was pretty simple to keep the living room neat. Now, as soon as I pick it up it's messy again. I don't understand how this happens.

4. Dishwashers are not just an appliance, they're your best friend. I used to run my dishwasher once a week. I now run it daily and up until last Friday when I bought some more bottles, I was running it twice a day. I don't know how people survive without it.

5. There are two people in our house but it feels like we do laundry for 8. Honestly, I know babies go through a lot of clothes, but now, so do I. If she spits up it inevitably lands on me and sometimes I can go through a couple of shirts. I have never enjoyed doing laundry so I'm sure this is Karma biting me in the back for some bad deed because I feel like all I do is laundry these days.

6. A baby's giggle should be bottled and sold.

7. Having a baby has solved my insomnia. I'm a really bad sleeper. Well, I was a really bad sleeper. If I got 6 hours of sleep a night it was a miracle and those 6 hours were almost never consecutive. Now, I got to bed and man I sleep until I hear her wake up. Last night I went to bed at 11:00 and she didn't wake up until 6:30 and I didn't wake up once in between.

8. There is tremendous joy in Christmas shopping for your baby. I was in the mall last night and I wished I had a name tag that read "I'm a real mom out shopping for her baby's first Christmas." I was in Sears looking for a little sweater to go over her Christmas dress and I was just thrilled when the sales lady asked if she could help me and I got to tell her I was looking for something for my daughter. It really is the little joys in life that make it worth while.

My dad has been complaining that I have not been posting enough pictures so here are some new ones especially for him.

Bliss

There really is nothing better than sitting at your computer, typing blog entry and trying to keep your 8 month old fingers from the keys while she coos delightful, happy baby sounds. This is exactly what I waited for and I have to say it's better than I imagined. I think I won the baby lottery. She sleeps from about 7:30p.m. until 5:00a.m.. wakes for a bottle and then goes back down for 2 more hours. She likes to lay on the blanket her Auntie Dee made for her and play with her toys and coo and giggle. She ADORES her cousins Meghan and Jake and thinks that are the funniest people on the planet. She thinks her Uncle Dennis hung the moon and her Auntie Kate makes the funniest noises. Wait til she meets the rest of the family!

She's really easy going for the most part. Remember my baby who didn't eat much? well she eats every 3 hours now and you best not be one second late with the bottle or the world will know it. We go for a weight check tomorrow so I hope we'll see an improvement. When we went last week she was 11lbs, 12 oz.

She does cry but mostly when she's tired or hungry but she's pretty easily consolable. Every morning when I walk into her room she greets me with a million dollar smile. Like she's just been waiting for her mommy. When I feed her she holds onto my finger and with her other hand she touches my face. Right now as I type her head is on my shoulder and she is patting me on the back. I cherish every moment because I know it won't last forever. For a long time I wondered if I would ever be a mother and now there is a living, breathing, smiling, pooping baby girl in my house. She is more than I could have dreamed of.

I can't remember the last time I was so excited about Christmas. My tree is up, I'm about half way done with shopping and my sister and her family will arrive next Sunday. This year my parents will have all 5 grandchildren together. What a gift for all of us.

This week Grace and I will be making some visits to my current job and my former job, as well as a visit to my dad's office so he can show off the newest grandchild. She really handles things well. She's really becoming very social and is just a delight. Yes, I'm basking in the new motherhood glow, and yup, my bubble will pop soon enough but for now, I can't imagine life getting much better than this.

We're Home!

What an amazing trip we had. It seems hard to believe that it's only been a little over a week that Grace and I have been together and yet, it's hard to remember life without her. We had a rough plane ride home. Grace was fantastic, I was sick almost the entire ride from Addis to Dulles (about 17 hours) and my sister Kate was sick about half of it. Thank God for the other families in our group who rallied around to help us. But Gracie was a real trooper. Then we got to Dulles and sat on the runway for 4 hours before we took off. So we got into Boston around 6:00 instead of 2:00 but it all worked out. We had a great group of family who came by to welcome us so that was fantastic. She's really doing great. She only woke up twice last night for a bottle and she's back down again for a nap. She really digs the mobile in her crib! I'll post more later about the trip but here are a few pictures of our homecoming

Mommy, Grace and Cousin Meghan

Mommy and Grace's Hands

Baseball Honey(my dad), Grace and Grandma Judi(my step-mom)

Mommy and Grace arricing at the airport

Introducing

Beth is letting me the first one to OFFICIALLY post pictures of my precious niece!! I can barely stand myself I am so excited!!


This is the first picture we ever saw of Grace. I still carry a copy of it in my wallet.

The following were taken by parents that were going to get their children and were kind enough to take pictures of Grace for Beth. It really helped with the wait!

A Very Emotional Day

Beth had her birth family visit yesterday. It was a very emotional day, but so worthwhile and Beth is so glad that she had the opportunity to do it. She feels that she got information she can share with Grace when she is older.

She wrote a letter to her sister....

It seems like I've been waking up each morning to another email! Makes for a happy sister! The internet (dial-up)seems most stable in the evening for them, which is morning for me.

Today's letter told me of their Embassy appointment. It went very well and their case was approved!! Grace should receive her VISA later in the week. Later that night they were attending a cultural dinner. Both Kate and Beth were looking forward to it.

Beth mentioned that Grace is such a sweet heart! She is so thrilled at how well she is adjusting to her. She is on the tiny side -- Beth said more on the side of a 4 or 5 month old. Beth was able to get her to take 5 oz. at one feeding which was the most she had eaten since she got there. The nannies were very surprised and pleased! Grace enjoys the baby sling that Beth brought. It will also be helpful for getting through the airports!

Tuesday (which is already today for Beth and Kate) they will be traveling to meet Grace's birth family. I am sure it will be emotional, but it so important to Beth. I know Kate looks forward to supporting her.

Until the next email.....

A

Her Girl….

11.29.09 I got an email from Kate this morning. They are really enjoying their experience in Ethiopia. She said things have been pretty relaxed so far, but will start to get busier on Monday when they have to go to appointments and do paperwork. She said they are with a terrific group of people and the people in Ethiopia are wonderful.

Now for the BEST part…Kate said that Grace took right to Beth!! She said that Grace’s eyes are always following her and that when Beth walks into a room Grace lights up! In fact, Kate was sending the email because Mommy and daughter were taking a nap! I am so thrilled!!!

I can’t wait for them to get home. I really want to meet Grace, oh so much. But boy do I miss my sisters. I haven’t talked to either one of them since Thursday, November 26th at 9:00 EST. If you know any of the three of us, that is a life sentence. The emails are great, but I want to talk to them!!

Together At Last……………

11.28.09 This is what I would have posted on this day, had I not run in to some technical difficulties. I think I now have it all figured out, so we are back on track!

After a 2+ hour delay at Dulles airport, they were on their way! Who doesn’t love random TSA screenings of ENTIRE airplanes? From all accounts, Beth was able to see Grace right away. According to my brother-in-law Dennis, she’s still on the tiny side but GORGEOUS!! And of course Beth was in HEAVEN!! Kate was spending a lot of time loving on the other babies in the orphanage.

I'll be back.....

A

Houston........We have lift off!!!

Amy, eldest sister of the Flaherty girl trio, here. I will be updating here as often as possible and hope to have updates from Beth and Kate from Ethiopia.

The first phase of their travel has officially begun! They left for Logan Int'l Airport at 4:00 a.m EST thanks to our dear Uncle Hank! Their first flight was to Dulles and left at 6:00 a.m., they left Dulles at 9:30 bound for Rome (refueling) and then on to Ethiopia.

They are due to arrive in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia tomorrow morning around 8:30 a.m.

Until next time.....

My Bags Are Packed, I'm Ready To Go

Unlike the song I'm not standing there outside my door, but only because it's too early to leave for the airport but if I could I would. I got everything packed, including my backpack and each bag is under the 50 pound allowance as instructed. So this will be my final post without Grace in my arms. If I can send e-mails from Ethiopia I will and my sister Amy will post while I'm gone. I'll be back in 9 days with my Punkin Grace!

Never A Dull Moment!

In less than 48 hours I will be on a plane heading to Ethiopia and in less than 72 hours I will be meeting Grace for the first time. If I were capable of doing a cart wheel I would do one. I'm not packed and I should be panicked about that but I'm not. I have a million things to do and I should be worried about how I'll get it all done and I'm not. What I am is joyful and grateful and blessed. And hopefully that will carry me through to get done what needs to get done.

There's been a slight change in my travel partners. My step-mom Judi and my sister Kate were supposed to travel with me but just Kate is coming now. My dad had a minor stroke on Sunday and while it looks like he'll be OK, we just can't have Judi leave him now. Luckily, Judi caught the signs so quickly and got him to the hospital so fast that they were able to administer him medication to stop the stroke. She saved his life. His speech is fine, he's walking around and complaining about the food so all in all, he's doing well considering. We'll be sad not to have Judi with us but we all feel much better knowing Dad will be in great care with her here.

I got word yesterday that we will definitely have a birth family visit so I'm really thankful for that. I am not sure which relative we will meet with but I'm just so happy to have the chance to meet any of her family members. We'll travel down to the Sidamo Region on Tuesday, have the meeting and stay over night and then return to Addis on Wednesday.

Well, that's about it for now but any good thoughts you could send out for clear travel on Friday morning would be appreciated. We don't have a lot of leeway for weather hold ups coming out of Boston so here's hoping that the weather will be good.

One Week From Today

I will be on a plane to Ethiopia one week from today. Not a year, not a month but a week. After all this wait it's finally come down to just a week. And what a week it will be. I'm not ready as far as being packed. Grace is packed. I have most of the things I'll take set aside but I don't think the packing will happen until Sunday or Monday. The donations are on the floor in Grace's room but haven't made their way inside the Rubbermaid buckets and oddly, I'm OK with that. I'm not freaking out about it because at this point, I know it will happen even if I don't know when.

I have had a very wide range of emotions this week. From complete calm to nervous energy to sobbing on the way to work on Wednesday. And the sobbing wasn't because anything was wrong or because I was upset. First it was because I heard a song on the radio that reminded me of my mother. Then it was seeing someones Christmas lights up and thinking how it will be the first time Grace sees it. Then it was seeing a mother get on the bus with her baby. And while I'm probably not going to get on a bus anytime soon with Grace, just knowing that she'll be here and that someone else will be looking at us and seeing our family is amazing to me. And if one more person tells me I'm so lucky that I didn't have pregnancy hormones I think I might whack em' with a racket. These adoption hormones are making me on the east side of whack-A-doodle. Seriously, my emotions could not be more roller coaster like. But it's all worth it.

I have a couple more things to do around the house. I need to get out the baby monitor and I need to set up her highchair. And I need to get her baby seat and hat and mittens and things together for my brother-in-law to take to the airport when they come to pick us up.

I'm having a work shower on Tuesday, I'm really looking forward to it and they're all so excited to do this for Grace. I can not imagine another child who could be more loved and anticipated than my Gracie.

I finished the family albums and I wrote my letter to her birth family. Probably the second hardest thing I will ever do, with the hardest being meeting her family. And I don't mean hard in an I don't want to do it kind of way. I am really looking forward to the meeting and while I believe they feel they made the right choice, it doesn't mean that they rejoice in it. It doesn't mean that it isn't devastating for them. But in the end, I wrote the things that I would want to hear if I were in their place and I'm happy with the final version.

While I am gone my sister Amy will be posting for me. I'm not sure how much Internet access I will have as it's dial up and not terribly reliable but we'll have an international cell phone to make quick calls back home so hopefully she'll have a few tidbits to post. And once we're in the air on our way back home I have given her permission to finally post Grace's picture and full name. My agency suggests that we wait until we're home to post that but I figure on the plane and close to touching down is OK too. So stay tuned for that. I know it's been a long wait but trust me, it's worth it. She's stunning and I would say that even if I weren't her mother!

Busy, Busy, Busy

Wow, there is a lot to do when you have only two weeks to get your life and job in order, pack, have a work shower and celebrate a holiday. Let's just say I've been busy the past couple of days.

Yesterday I did some very mommyish things. I added Grace to my insurance and I made doctor appointments, and I packed her suitcase. I suddenly felt very official. And today I went and did a million errands to pick up the last minute things I need for the trip. I'm also working on her birth family albums. She has a couple of living relatives and I am making an album for each of them. I have been so lucky to receive pictures from traveling families and I have about 45 pictures of Grace alone. I also included pictures of her room, our church, the pre-school she will attend and some of our family. The task I am supposed to be performing now is to write a letter to her birth family. Seriously, I don't even know where to begin. I also need to come up with a list of questions for the birth family visit but that seems less daunting to me.

I received updated pictures of Grace yesterday taken by the WHFC social worker who was in Ethiopia a few weeks ago. My case manager called to warn me that in some of the pictures she had her feeding tube in. I was prepared to see a very sickly baby but aside from the tube up her nose, there was nothing sickly about her. She's even blowing a raspberry in one of them. I'm just excited to get her home and to get her checked out so I know how to best help her.

Next Wednesday I have a two hour travel call with my agency to go over stuff we need to know. I'm really looking forward to that. Should be filled with information that will make my head spin.

All in all, I'm faring pretty well but there is still two weeks to go and plenty of time for me to turn into a stress ball. So wish me luck and as little stress as possible.

So Excited!!

Do you know what I did tonight after I e-mailed and talked with friends and family? I packed a suitcase. For my daughter. I folded her little clothes, packed her bottles, her formula, her little socks, towels. Her cousins helped me roll up her diapers to make more room in her suitcase. I'm preparing to bring my daughter home. After six years of planning and almost two years of waiting she is coming home. It's for real. No one can change their mind. It's really, really happening. My baby girl is coming home.

I bought our tickets today. We leave November 27th at 6:00a.m. and we return on Saturday, December 5th, Grace's 8 month Birthday. We come in on United from Dulles and we arrive in Boston at 2:15p.m. Anyone who would like to come to the airport is welcome.

My sister Kate, my step-mom Judi and I are so excited. In three weeks I'll be home with my punkin baby. This is what it must feel like to have all of your prayers answered.

Give Me A Ticket For An Aeroplane!!!

Yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I leave on Friday, November 27Th. Two weeks from tomorrow! I am finally going to hold my baby girl in my arms. We return on December 5Th which is the day she turns 8months old. THE very, very BEST Thanksgiving gift I will ever receive.

Back to Earth

Well, now that I have spent a wonderful weekend celebrating that I passed court and rejoicing in the news that Grace will soon be home with me, I think I'm slowly coming back to earth. There is so much to do and probably much of it will happen in a very short period of time. I'm hoping that we'll get travel news early this week. From the "unofficial" tally, there are at least 14 families that passed court. There are likely to be a few more that we're not aware of since not every family is part of the e-mail list. We also know that not all of the families will travel at once since there can only be a maximum of 10 families traveling at one time. That's because each agency only gets 10 embassy appointments per week. Some of the families that passed on Friday may not be ready for travel because their immigration paperwork may not have been received by the Ethiopian Government. I know that all of my paperwork has been received and I've had that information verified, but it still doesn't mean that I'll make it in the first wave. But honestly, just to know that I've passed is a huge relief.

There are at least 4 single parent families out of those who passed court last week. I didn't post this much during the process, but there were two scares during this process when I feared that Ethiopia would close to singles and my adoption might not happen. The first scare was when I was about 7 months into the wait and the second was just a couple of weeks after I got my referral. There has not been an official ruling so the fact that singles are passing court means that nothing has changed yet, but I wouldn't be surprised to see it happen at some time, thought I sincerely hope that it doesn't. I am eternally grateful for those of us who passed and I pray daily that they continue to keep the program open and that many more singles pass in the future.

So I spent the weekend making lists, panicking, re-reading the lists, panicking, organizing baby stuff, panicking and shopping for things we need and for donations for Horizon House. I think I got a good amount of things together to donate and I also have some new and gently worn children's clothes that I'll donate as well. It's overwhelming with all the things that need to happen in a short period of time and since as of today I don't know if I'll have days to prepare or a couple of weeks. It will get done either way, but did I mention I'm panicking a bit?

On Friday a friend of mine since childhood came to visit and she and her daughter gave me two of the most special gifts I have received.

The first was a white onesie that has the image posted below on it.

The second is a cream tote bag that has the following image on it.

So adorable and so thoughtful of them to get something so specific to Grace. Thanks Laura and Annesia! They got it from a website called cafepress.com. Just type in Ethiopia and you'll be shocked at the options you'll find!

So, now I go into prepare to depart at any minute mode. I have a lot to put in order both at work and at home but it will be worth the lack of sleep since I know in the end, it will bring me to my precious Gracie.

Oh Happy Day!!!!!!!

Today I got the news I have been waiting 17 months for. Today I passed court in Ethiopia. That means that in the eyes of the Ethiopian Government I am now legally Grace's mother. I expect to get travel dates early next week. I'm not sure how how much time I'll have to prepare but really, does it matter? My baby girl is coming home!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I will sleep soundly tonight for the first time in months!

Seven Months Today

Grace is exactly 7 months today. At the end of last week I got an update on her. Some of it was fantastic, some of it a little scary.

First the scary: She isn't gaining weight at the rate they would like. She'll drink about an ounce and a half from the bottle and then lose interest. So as a proactive measure they are supplementing her bottle feedings with a feeding tube. I'm obviously grateful she's getting such care and attention and that's she in a place that can provide her with the nutrition she needs. However, it's very unsettling to get a call telling you that you're baby's on a feeding tube even if you know it's being done for good reasons. It makes a difficult wait unbearable. That being said, there does not seem to be any underlying medical issues and while it was only a very small gain, she did have a gain in weight this month. I'm hoping that we'll see a big improvement with the feeding supplement. I was also told that she doesn't like the feeding tube and will pull it out. To me, that's the most positive sign that she's still feisty!

Now the fantastic: A WH social worker was visiting a few weeks ago and sent me an update on not just the eating issues but how she is doing in general. She said she interacts and engages well with the other babies when she's on the floor with them. She kicks her legs a lot and vocalizes loudly, she blows raspberries and is very smiley and sociable. It's just so amazing to get these little snippets of what she's like. All the pictures I have of her are so posed and I constantly worry if she's doing the things that babies her age should do and now I know that she is. Quite a relief!

Still no travel news. I'm just desperate to hear anything at this point. This part of the wait has been exhausting and I'm definitely cracking. So if you could send some good vibes, prayers,whatever you like, into the universe for us to hear something soon I'd be very appreciative.

I've Still Got Nothin

So I wanted to update the blog since it's been a week but to be honest, I still have nothing to report. There still hasn't been word of anyone from my agency passing through court yet. No sense of when I will travel. Not even any measurement updates of Grace. I really have nothing and honestly, it's getting pretty draining. I feel like I'm in a holding pattern and can't plan anything for fear that I'll get the e-mail telling me to travel.

Last saturday I took Meghan and Jacob out with me to do errands. At first Meghan didn't want to come but then she changed her mind. When I asked her why she now wanted to come, she said "Auntie, I was thinking that it's getting hard to not have Gracie and I didn't want your errands to be sad and boring so I thought it would make you happy if I came with you." Even the five year old knows I'm on the verge of cracking. I'm hopeful that something will happen soon. Any little sign would be very welcome. Here's hoping that the next post is a little more up beat.

I Don't Want To Wait Anymore

Not that I have any say in this part of the process, but I really don't want to wait anymore. I just want to get on a plane and go get my daughter. I want to stop thinking about what it will be like to have her in my arms. I want to walk around the house with her in the new baby sling I got for my shower. I want to put her down in her very own crib in her very own room meant just for her. I want to go to Target with Grace instead of just going there for Grace. I know she's well cared for but I want her to be well cared for by me. I want to be the one kissing her forehead to see if she has a fever. I want to give her a bath and put her lotion on her. I want to cuddle on the couch in her room and read all of the books I've bought while I've been waiting for her. I want to begin being a real life mother to a real life baby. I love looking at her beautiful picture but I am ready for the real version. The version that poops and cries and smiles and giggles.

So in case the above paragraph hasn't clued you in, I haven't heard any news about travel and It's really starting to get hard. Excruciatingly hard. Yet all I can do it wait. Her room is ready, her clothes and towels and crib sheets are washed and put away. Her baby book is filled out as much as it can be. Heck, I even finished my shower thank you's in 5 days. I'm running out of busy work. And sanity. I just want my punkin to come.

Shower The People You Love With Love

Well, in my case the people showered me and what a shower it was!! Last Sunday my sisters and parents threw me the most amazing baby shower. I knew the place and date but I didn't know any of the details. When I got there I walked into a long hallway that had the place cards on it and a framed picture of Grace. At the end of that table was a small table with my very favorite picture of Grace and an album. My sisters had sent out little note cards with the invitations. The note cards had pumpkins stamped on them and each guest was asked to write a wish or a good thought for Grace and I. All the cards were put in an album. I have very thoughtful, creative sisters. Next we went into the main function room where all the guests were for the beautiful brunch that was planned. The theme of the shower was...........a punkin baby! The invitations were a little African baby popping out of a pumpkin. The cake replicated the invitation. The centerpieces were pumpkins with a little African baby in a diaper, with a pink bow on her head sitting on top. The pumpkin was on a pile of silk fall leaves surrounded with fall wrapped Hershey kisses. The favors were little pumpkin candles. And each table had a different framed picture of my punkin baby Grace. I'll tell you, my family can carry out a theme like nobodys business.

There were about 55 friends and family and it was really amazing the amount of love I felt in that room. It felt like everyone else was as excited to be there as I was. I was just overwhelmed by the love and good wishes blessed upon us. You can not believe the amount of gifts that Grace and I received. Other than diapers and formula, there is very little left that I need to buy. We got a travel system, high chair, her bedding set etc. She got some of the most adorable clothes I have ever seen and her Aunt Andrea got her these little socks that look like Mary Jane shoe's. This girl will be styling.

I was really blown away with some of the gorgeous gifts that people made for her. Our dear family friend Gail made her a quilt that is a map of the world. My friend Karen's mother made her a beautiful sweater. A few other friends made her blankets as did two of my aunts. One of the most special pieces was a quilt made by my Aunt Nancy. It's a brown and pink quilt that matches her room beautifully, but she also put her referral picture on fabric and then sewed it onto the quilt. I wish I could post a picture but since it has her picture on in it, I can't, but trust me, it's fantastic. Another amazing gift was a painting that my cousin Ann made. At first glance it looks like she painted a butterfly but as you look closer you see that it's actually the letters of her name that make the butterfly. Her Ethiopian name is the body of the butterfly and then Grace and Elizabeth make the wings. I know my description doesn't do it justice but it is absolutely adorable. She also painted flowers that are exactly the same type of flowers that are on the decals that I put on her wall. Ann is the craftiest person I have ever met and I can not imagine how much time this took her. These are the types of people I have in my life. The people that will take their time to make beautiful things for your baby. Now you can begin to understand why I rave about them. It was a perfect day in every way. My sisters Amy and Kate, my dad and my step mom spent over a year thinking about what the shower would be like and no detail was left to chance. I don't really have enough of a vocabulary to express how grateful I am. Not just for the beautiful shower but for the richness they bring to my life. Thanks again to all my friends and family for coming and celebrating with me. I'm so lucky to have you in our lives.

The weekend in general was just spectacular. My friends Andrea and Robin flew in Saturday from Ohio and we spent the day walking around Salem. Late that afternoon my friend Brenda and her husband Bill and their baby Thomas came in from Delaware and then my friend Lisa came from Vermont. My sister Amy flew in from California on Saturday night. After the shower on Sunday we all hung out with my family and some other friends and watched the Redsox and the Patriots lose. That was the only sad part of the whole weekend. I'm not over the Redsox yet but I do have to root for the angels because I only root for two teams... The Redsox and whoever beats the Yankees. On Sunday night we went through all of the gifts from the shower since it was such a blur when I was opening them. That was a lot of fun. On Monday I did some organizing, spent some time with my family and then had dinner with Andrea and Robin. It was such a great weekend. I can't remember the last time I had that much fun. Well, that's the wrap up but no fear, there will be a few pictures to follow. They are not of the actual shower as I don't have those pictures yet but they'll give you an idea of what it was like.

Most of the Gifts from the shower. I plan to show her this picture when she's 13 and says she never gets anything.

Centerpiece

Shower Favor

Bedding Courtesy of Grandma Judi and Baseball Honey(my parents)

Quilt by my Aunt Nancy. I can only show the part without Grace's picture

Quilt of the World made by Gail

Sweater made by my friend Karen's mom

The closet full of beautiful clothes

Guess Who is 6 Months Today?

Why my Gracie of course! I wonder how she's doing today and I keep hoping that this will be the last month that she'll be without me, though I know that's highly unlikely. It's amazing to think that I'm over here counting every second we're apart and my poor little baby has no idea that her little life as she knows it is about to be turned upside down. For the better, I know, but still, imagine what that must be like when you're so little and have no idea what's happening. I certainly hope that she feels all the love I'm sending her today and everyday and somehow senses that her mommy will be coming soon.

On a completely unrelated note, I have noticed that over 930 people have viewed my blog, yet almost no one ever posts. I certainly don't blame you because I too am a lurker and rarely post on other peoples blogs but it would be nice to know who you are. So leave a post some time if you feel like it. And if you don't well, I don't know who you are so I can't be mad at you.

So since there is not much else to report on I am going to just sit and count the hours until the Big Bang Theory is on. Actually, first let me post this public service message. Dear Public: Watch the Big Bang Theory!! Best Wishes, Beth. Seriously, you will not regret a second of it and you will laugh hysterically the entire time. I'm still chuckling over last week's episode. It's so good that I refuse to answer my phone when it's on. Trust me people, you'll be thanking me for turning you onto it.

Not Much Going On

I got some amazing new pictures of Grace this week. A parent who traveled two weeks ago to pick up her daughter offered to take pictures for me. As it turns out, she is also a professional photographer. These pictures are gorgeous. I'm so touched by the time and care she took. She got pictures of her during her bath, with the nannies, just hanging around on the floor and while she was sleeping. And when she sleeps she sucks on two fingers. It's the cutest thing. In every picture you can tell she is well looked after and well cared for. When my dad saw the pictures he said, "you can really tell she's getting a lot of love".

So it's getting a little harder now. The courts reopened at the end of September but they are training for a couple of weeks. There's been no information on when they will start hearing cases again. I was prepared for this type of thing to happen but even still, it's slightly frustrating. I just want to get on a plane and get my daughter.

My shower is next Sunday which I am ridiculously excited for. Lots of people I haven't seen for a bit and friends start coming in next Saturday. Can not wait! Will post pictures of the big shin dig when I can.

Well, this is a bit of a boring post, but right now, I'm just a bit of a boring gal with not much to report. Here's hoping for exciting news in the very near future.

Blessings

I got a measurement update yesterday on Gracie. She has gained almost a pound and has grown a little over an inch in a month. The international pediatrician thinks her measurements look pretty good. The weight is low but that's sort of expected and I know we'll catch her up in no time.

No word on travel yet but I did hear from my agency today that all my CIS updates have been received by the Ethiopian Embassy. That's great news because if you're updated information(finger prints and I600A) are not received by the embassy prior to travel you'll have some issues that could delay your travel. I'm relieved to have that out of the way. I should be receiving our Ethiopian Visa's any day now.

I know I talk about this a lot, but I am really just blown away by the love and support that has been coming my way. I never doubted that Gracie would be adored and accepted but the trouble everyone is going to for us leaves me speechless. In October my parents and sisters are throwing me a baby shower. I know the when and the where but nothing else. Knowing my family, it's going to be absolutely awesome. I have waited so long for a baby and there were definitely times when I just thought it was never going to happen. So to be at a point where we're a little over two weeks away from celebrating Grace's arrival is surreal to me. I know that people are really happy for me and excited about Grace, but I guess I never expected people to go out of their way for us. It's such a happy time in my life and I feel so lucky to have such amazing people to share it with. When I made the invitation list I put on the people I am close to and would love to have there fully expecting that not everyone would be able to come, especially those out of town. But to my surprise, I have several friends and my older sister coming in from out of town and another dear friend trying to make it. You might think wow, that's a lot of effort for a baby shower, and hey, I wouldn't disagree with you. But for me, it's so much more than a baby shower. It's a chance to share one of the happiest events in my life with the people that mean so much to me and will become so important to Grace.

I am not a very good sleeper. I haven't been since I was a baby. I think it's because I'm a worrier and at night, I often have so many things that I'm thinking of that it's hard to sleep. Last night I was thinking about all the blessings in my life and I remembered an old Bing Crosby song that's a favorite of mine. It's called Counting My Blessings and I just love the lyrics:

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my blessings

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings

And that's exactly what I did. I fell asleep thinking about all the good things and good people in my life and the extraordinary journey I'm about to take to my punkin. And I did fall asleep, counting my blessings.

Isn't She Lovely

So, I can't post pictures of Grace because we haven't passed court yet, but if you haven't seen her picture yet trust me, she is just lovely. She has enormous eyes and gorgeous long eyelashes that curl a bit at the end. She has a sly little smile that's a mixture of sweetness and fun. She has big feet (in comparison to the rest of her) and she has a head of hair that most people would die for. She had so much hair that in her referral picture she has three little pony tails. I received updated pictures from two families last week and in all the pictures her hair is full and lovely. She looks really well cared for, happy, healthy and loved. Pretty much everything I could hope for aside from being told I can go pick her up.

To prepare our impending trip I have had my first set of travel shots and I go back at the end of the month for the next round. My sister, step-mom and I sent away yesterday for our Visa's. They're good for two years so there's no problem with getting them now. I'm starting to think about the things we will need for the trip and what sort of donations I should bring. I have read through all the travel information that my agency provides to prepare you for travel and there's still things to do to keep me busy.

One of the things I need to start on is the photo album for the birth family visit. I haven't really talked much about Grace's birth family and I definitely won't give any explicit details here on the blog but she does have a living birth parent that I hope to meet when I am in Ethiopia. My agency supports and arranges for a birth family visit should the parent or family member relinquishing the child want one. If her family is willing, which most are, I will travel with my sister Kate to their village to meet them. My step mom can't go because she can't get the yellow fever vaccine so she will stay in Addis. We'll travel to the southern part of the country where Grace is from and meet with her family. The only thing I am able to give her family is a photo album. I am making copies of all the pictures I have received of her to date to include as it's likely they have no photos at all of her. I will also include pictures of her room, our house, our church and the school she will likely attend. It will be my way of showing her family that I can provide what they hoped for when they relinquished her. They wanted her to have a happy life and a good education and I will spend the rest of my life making sure I keep that promise. I am also allowed to write them a letter and to be honest, I don't even know how to begin. How do you thank someone for having to make a choice that no parent should have to face. In a perfect world they would have been able to raise her themselves but life is not always like that. I can't imagine what it has to feel like to know that you can not provide the most basic of needs to your child. What it must feel like to love someone so much and yet know that love is not enough for them. That they really would be better off with another family even if that means they go to another country. What must it be like to have to sacrifice a piece of yourself in order to do right by your baby? My guess is that part of your heart never fully heals. Imagine the kind of strength you have to muster to be able to do this. And then imagine that you're going to sit face to face with the person who will raise her and love her. What will they think of me? Will thinking of Grace always bring them sadness or will they be able to take heart in the fact that she will have a good life with another mother, another family who will love her with everything they have. Will they be able to answer the questions I ask so that I can tell Grace about them as she grows older? Or will the pain be too fresh? And what will they want to know about me? This birth family visit will be the most difficult, and hopefully rewarding experience of my life. I believe it will be the best gift I will ever give Grace. It will be a small glimpse into her history. An opportunity to see her family on video(assuming they allow me to tape it) and to hear their voices and know in their own words how they loved her and what they wish her life will bring her, how they would like her to remember them and perhaps a little snippet of who they are. It's overwhelming to think about this part of the trip. To be honest, having the opportunity to meet with the birth family was one of the major reasons why I chose to adopt through Ethiopia. I don't want her first family to be a mystery to her and I think I owe it to her to give her as much information as I can and then allow her to receive it when and in the manner in which she is ready to hear it. The sacrifices her family made is what has allowed me to become her mother. That's a gift and a responsibility that I do not take lightly.

Since I requested a child of either gender I really didn't know if it would be a boy or a girl, but I suspected I would get a boy in the 18-24 month range as it seemed at the time I started the process the wait was a little shorter for the upper end of my age range and it just seemed like a boy was more likely. But the moment I got the call and knew she was a girl and then I saw Grace for the first time, it was clear that she was meant to be my child. Telling people about my daughter seems like the most natural thing I've ever said. I have her picture in every room of my house, sans the bathroom, and I sit in her room every night and talk to her, even if it's just for a moment. It makes me feel close to her. I feel so lucky and joyous and yet at the same time, I ache for the family that loves her enough to let her go. The emotions that come with adoption are ones that I have great difficulty expressing. It brings tremendous joy and profound sorrow for everyone involved. I am lucky to be on the receiving end of the most amazing gift ever but the task ahead of me is to provide her with all the love, support and opportunities that I can. It's the very promise I make to her family and I will fulfill it no matter what. I will do it because I can, because I am able to, because I love her more than I can say. And while I will be the physical parent, she will carry them with her forever and we'll embrace and be grateful for that every day that we have.

So Much To Say

There's been so much going on that it's hard to know where to start. So let's start with the Grace update. I received updated photos of her yesterday and she looks so great! She has a ton of hair, her face is filing out and she has a sly little smile in one of them. The family who took the picture was in Ethiopia last week and they just got back over the weekend. I was so grateful at how quickly they got me the photos. I never expected to get them so quickly. I guess since they know what it's like to wait they understand how desperate you are for any update. They also said that she is a sweetie pie and likes people and to be held. They also reassured me that the care she is receiving is exceptional and that she is being loved on. I know that's the case but it's still so nice to hear it from someone who has seen it in person. They are also mailing me a short video they took of her. I can't believe that in a couple of days I could actually see her moving and hear what she sounds like. It's so exciting and I can't wait to get it.

Grace's room is pretty much done and I have to say that I love it to pieces. It really matches the vision I had in my head. So here are the before and after pictures.

BEFORE

AFTER











I really love the way it turned out. The last picture shows the adorable onesie that Auntie Andrea and Uncle Rob sent. I can't wait to take a picture of Grace in it.

Nesting

I have been dying to buy paint, wall decorations, wash little wash cloths, agonize over furniture placement. And now I get to do all of that. In short, I'm nesting and man, is it fun!

So with the help of my sister and brother-in-law, I have begun transforming the boring spare bedroom into Grace's girlie butterfly room. We painted the top of the wall Sweetie Pie Pink and the bottom Jaded Lime Green. Think Sherbet colors. Actually, it looks like spumoni ice cream but I see my vision slowly coming together. I'll post pictures when it's done. The trim and doors have been painted white and the chair rail will go up over labor day weekend. Then I can put up the crib, arrange the furniture, put up the curtains and decorate the walls. I can't even begin to explain how fun this has been for me. I would never go to this trouble for my own bedroom but I just can't seem to do enough for Grace's. And it's not about spending a bunch of money. It's about spending two hours on Sunday looking for the perfect pink trash can or just the right sheers for the windows. And I spent 20 minutes debating whether or not to spend $13 on a light switch just because it had butterflies and the right pink and green in it. Had I been by myself I might have passed on it but I had Meghan with me and she talked me into it. Let me tell you, after I hung it up tonight, I have to admit that she was right. It was worth the little splurge. I've never spent this much time looking for the right accessories, and it's never been this fun. I had Meghan and Jacob with me and it was so fun to have them walk through stores and point out things that would be great for Gracie.

There is a travel group from my agency leaving this Friday for Ethiopia. I had sent an e-mail to the agency list serv asking if anyone would be willing to take pictures of Grace for me since she has been moved to the agency's care center. Two families have offered to take pictures so in the next couple of weeks I should have new pictures. I can hardly wait. I also had a third family e-mail me. That family was at the care center last week picking up their son and they spent some time at the infant house and wondered if they had met her. I wrote back with her name and sure enough, they had meet her! Their oldest son had fed her a bottle and they said she was smiley, enjoyed being held and was just a very sweet baby. I can't really describe how amazing it was to hear this. Here's this beautiful baby girl who is my daughter, but I've never met her and I've never spoken to someone who has seen her in person. And now there is someone who tells me some of the little tidbits I've been craving. She smiles. She 's sweet. She responds well to other people. They also said that the love and care the kids receive from the nannies is exceptional. I have trusted all along that this was the case but it's so great to hear that from other parents who have seen it in person. I'm so anxious to meet her and hold her but until I do, these little updates are priceless and really help with the wait.

Tonight I finally got her photo album together and sent it off to my agency to mail to Ethiopia. I was so excited to get the album off I was almost giddy. It's a small album with six pictures and I labeled who everyone is. I also put in a picture of me holding her referral picture, our first family picture! We send the album so that the nannies can start to familiarize the kids with their new families.

Last weekend my niece Meghan and I were out shopping for baby dolls. I wanted a soft black baby doll, sort of on the idea of a rag doll. I found lots of black baby dolls but they all had hard faces. I had seen what I was looking for on line so I told Meghan we would just go home and order it on the computer. She asked me why we didn't buy her a soft white baby doll since they had lots of those. I explained that she'll have dolls of all different races but for right now, I wanted a black baby doll. She said, well that's fine but don't you think we should buy her a white baby doll so she gets used to our color? I mean, she's probably expecting a brown or black family and we're white. We've been expecting a brown baby but she might be surprised by a white family. I don't want us to scare her. I think we need to prepare her. Pretty insightful for a five year old. I explained that we were sending a photo album full of our pictures so that she knows what we look like. So many adjustments for such a little baby. I only hope that I can find the right way to help her navigate it all.

I had copies of Grace's referral pictures made and tonight I put them in frames and in the little photo album I bought to carry in my purse. I just love seeing her gorgeous face every place I look.

She's Growing!

I got a measurement update from my agency and it looks like my Gracie is growing! She's now over 9 1/2 pounds and she's grown over 4 inches which is a big increase from the measurements I received with her referral that were from when she was about 3 weeks old. It's such a relief to know that she is eating and growing and getting consistent nutrition. I'm grateful to know that she's being well cared for but it just makes me want to get to her even quicker. I can't wait for the day I can hold her and give her big hugs and kisses and tell her how long I've waited for her and how much I love her. That day will come soon enough. For now I'm grateful for a relatively healthy baby who has people to care for her until I can get there. I'm sending big love out into the universe for you Gracie. Your Mommy and your family here can't wait to see you!

Spoiled Rotten

I've only known about Grace for a little over a week but the outpouring of love and support has been overwhelming. I have received calls, e-mails, cards and some adorable little presents. I'm overwhelmed by how excited everyone is over my beautiful baby girl. Here are just a couple of things I have for her now.

This is the outfit I bought Grace on the day I received her referral. Since she was wearing pink in her referral picture I knew this would be a beautiful color on her. Plus, I was so excited to buy something specifically for her.


These are the flowers my Aunt and Uncle and cousins sent me to celebrate Grace's referral. They are so lovely and a week later they are still going strong.

These are from Auntie Kate, Uncle Dennis, Meghan and Jacob. The little slippers crack me up! Meghan couldn't wait to show me what she had picked out for her new cousin. She is thrilled that there are more girl cousins than boy cousins on this side of the family now.

This onesie is from Cyn(aka the Big Meanie), my college roommate my senior year and one of my closest friends. I came home on Friday to find this present in the mailbox addressed to Grace Flaherty(how thrilling that was)! It's never too early to introduce her to mommy's Alma Mata.

This was a present from a co-worker of mine. The present was a little soft bunny but I just loved how girlie the wrapping was that I had to take a picture of it.

So as I mentioned in a previous post, I went and registered and I chose the bedding set. There's a picture below. Keep in mind that her actual crib is a lighter wood but I still think it will look really nice. I went today to pick out the paint and I'm doing a light pink on the top and a light green on the bottom with a chair rail separating the two colors. I think it will look really pretty when it's all done. I'm just so excited to get started on making her the most adorable room I can.

What A Difference A Week Makes

This time last Friday I was anxious, tired, worried and nervous waiting to hear something, ANYTHING, about my referral. Fast forward to today. I'm sleeping better, feeling better and am just more optimistic about everything in general. All in a weeks time and all because of one little girl. It's amazing how things can change so quickly and how one can go from such despair to such joy in so little time.

I know the wait will still be difficult especially since I know who she is now. But honestly, it's such a relief to be in preparation mode instead of just waiting mode. I have lists to make, a room to paint, baby dolls to buy, more paperwork to fill out and information to read. I'm just so excited to have something productive to do.

My task for this weekend is to make her a little photo album. That way her care givers can show it to her and get her familiar with what her family looks like. I bought a really cute album about 18 months ago but it's fabric and not really practical for cleaning and I know they worry about spreading germs. About 14 months ago I bought a second photo album that is vinyl, washable and has a teething ring on the end. I was all set to send that one, but then decided last weekend that it was too boyish so I went Monday night and bought one just like it but pink with lady bugs on it. I'm not sure where this pink obsession came from but I really can't seem to get rid of it. It only holds about 6 pictures but that will be enough for now to get her familiar with me, her grand parents and my sisters and their families. I'm excited to get it together and in the mail.

I officially accepted Grace's referral on Wednesday. After speaking to the International Pediatrician I had to get a number of forms notarized so that took another day. I was going to overnight it but I figured I would be a wreck until I knew it was there so I just decided to drive it there myself. It's not a far ride and it was worth the piece of mind. It's nice to have everything official on my end in terms of paperwork, but she was official the second I saw her picture.

So, I'm just enjoying this time of prepping and rejoicing about having Grace come and join my family. I had just assumed that I would get an 18-24 month old and to know she's only 4 months is icing on the cake. Even though it will be a couple of months before she comes home, I know that I'll be able to experience some of her milestones that I had assumed I would miss like walking, crawling and her first birthday. It will be such a gift to witness those.

Over the Moon

What a whirlwind the past couple of days has been! The joy and sense of relief that I feel is inexplicable. I spent all this time dreaming about an abstract child and now she is real. It's just extraordinary.

I have been overwhelmed by the love and support I have been given not just over the last few days but throughout the whole process. I still can't believe that the little girl everyone is falling all over is my daughter. It delights me to write that. My daughter. My entire family is over the moon about her. Her grandparents have put her picture on their phones and have shown her to just about everybody, including the parish priest. Her aunts and uncles are showing her picture to everyone they have ever met and are helping me plan her room and get ready for her arrival. Her cousins think she is the cutest thing ever and let's face it, it's true! It's just been so fun and it's always amazing to see how the impending arrival of a baby can breathe new life into a family. There is no child that could be more wanted or more anticipated than Grace is.

I had her medical information reviewed by an international pediatrician and they said everything looks pretty good. She's on the small side but her height, weight and head circumference are all in the normal range, the low side of normal, but still normal. She said her eyes were nice and bright and alert. There are no guarantees that everything will develop normally but that would be the case regardless of whether she was biological or adopted. I'm just relieved to know that there doesn't appear to be any big health issues but honestly, I'm not sure it would have made a difference if there was. Once I saw that face with those eyes as big as the moon, I could never imagine not bringing her home. All I need to do now is to officially accept the referral which I will hopefully mail off tomorrow. I just need to have a bunch of stuff notarized and then it will be good to go.

So last night I did something that I have been dying to do. I registered. I went with my sister Kate and it was really fun. A little overwhelming, but fun! Her color scheme will be pink and chocolate brown and her bedding has butterflies and flowers on it. I have no idea what color I will paint her room but I'm just so thrilled about the possibilities. This weekend I'm going through her closet to see what I have. I don't have a ton but I have picked up some crib sheets and wash cloths and towels along the way. I'm just excited to get started.

So my world is good these days. I'm happy and excited and just enjoying staring at her picture. I went to Vermont last Saturday to see my friend Brenda's baby Thomas who is a little love. It was a 3 1/2 hour drive and Grace's picture sat on the passenger seat on the way up and the way back. I'm just completely overjoyed with her!

Overjoyed!

Today was the best day of my life. And I want to put it down before I forget all the details that are swirling in my head. So here is how things happened.

At around noon today I was in my office and I glanced at the clock. My agency closes at 1:00 on Fridays and I thought well, it's almost noon, guess I won't get the call today. I went back to work and was on my office phone with a co-worker when my cell phone rang with a number I didn't recognize. My first thought was it's another wrong number, I'm not going to answer. My next thought was I should answer it so I asked my co-worker to hold on a second and I answered my cell. I said hello and sure enough it was Emily my caseworker. I asked her to hold a second and went to the phone in my other hand and said I have to go, it's the phone, a call... and my co-worker said is it a baby call and I said no, yes, I don't know... the phone...and she yelled Beth, hang up the phone with me, hang up! So I said OK and I did. Then I switched back to the cell phone and said hi Emily, thanks for holding, how are you? And she said I'm fine. Do you have some time to talk and I said yes. She said well, I have some very good news. I said oh my God, it this really it? Is this the call and she said this is the call! Then I started crying and my hands were shaking. Then she told me about the Punkin. She is 4 months old(yes I know the earlier post said 5 months but clearly a women just finding out about her daughter should not try to do math). She is from the southern region of the country and she has the most amazing eyes I have ever seen. As a friend of mine said, you could get lost in them. She is everything I ever dreamed of and more. As soon as I opened the attachment with her picture I just knew she was who I had been waiting for. She was worth every minute of waiting. As I type this I am looking at her picture and I just can't believe how lucky I am. I have a daughter. I'm some one's mommy. And she doesn't know anything about me, it's not official as I still have to have her information reviewed by an international pediatrician and then I can accept and wait for the legal process to happen in Ethiopia. But she is undeniably the Punkin I have longed for. I honestly didn't know that this type of joy was possible.

After I saw her picture I ran through my office telling everyone who was there and man, that was so fun. They have all lived through this with me and to share it with them was amazing. I think just about everyone cried when I told them and we all agree she is the most gorgeous baby we've ever seen and I'm not even a little bit biased. Funny story: I apparently went into work with my sweater on inside out and had no clue. Someone in my office noticed when I was running down the hall and the tag was on the outside. It took me over an hour to remember to change it. When I did I went into the bathroom, walked back out and then went back to my desk. My co worker said Beth, I know you went to switch your sweater but did you realize you forgot to do that when you went to the bathroom? And of course I had no idea. My head was total mush at that point. The second time I remembered to switch it.

Then I set down to calling people. My sister Kate was first and she wasn't there so I left a frantic message on her cell phone to call me immediately. She was at the beach with the kids and when she called back I just yelled It's a Girl, It's a girl and we both cried. I did a lot of crying today but it was happy tears. I then called my dad and step mom and both were thrilled beyond words. Then I called my sister Amy. Amy has thought all along that the Punkin was a girl and that she would be an infant. I thought it would be a boy and he'd be a toddler but am thrilled about a girl. Anyway, I called Amy and when the phone rang she told my brother-in-law Kevin to pick it up because it was me and I had a baby. Mind you, the phone wasn't near her so she didn't see the number. He picked it up and said you won't believe who it is and she said it's Beth, pick it up! So I said Hi Kevin it's Beth is Amy there? I probably yelled it but I'm not positive. She got on the phone and I yelled, it's a girl,it's a girl and she just started screaming back. I forwarded her the picture and I was on the phone with her when she saw her for the first time. That was thrilling. Then I had to tell Amy that of course she was wright all along about who the Punkin was and since I was so happy I didn't even mind admitting it(and little sisters usually hate to admit when the big sister is wright). Then I started calling and e-mailing friends and other family members. On my way home from work I stopped by the cemetery to tell my mom and show her the picture. I know that's odd to some people but I'm a literal person. When I want to talk to her I go to the cemetery because that's where she is. And I didn't want her to be left out of the best day of my life. I could feel her joy. The picture sat on the passenger seat and I looked at her at every stop light and I'm not even kidding. Then we finished the day celebrating with dinner out and I bought the punkin an outfit. Had no idea what size to buy so went with 6-9 which will probably be too big but she'll fit in it at some point.

So from this point on we can refer to her as Grace. Punkin will be one of my special names for her but Grace will be her first name. She will keep her Ethiopian name as her middle name but I can't post that since I'm not legally her mother yet so we'll refer to that as L. for the time being. Her second middle name will be Elizabeth to honor my mother(it was her beloved grandmother's name) so her full name will be Grace L(Ethiopian birth name) Elizabeth. I'm sorry but I can't post a picture anywhere on the Internet as it's not allowed. If I've told you her birth name, please don't post it anywhere.

I'm sorry if this post has no paragraphs but my head is still swimming. I'm sure I will have more to add when I've had some time to digest it all. Until then, I'm just sitting here waiting for my daughter(Squeal!)to come.

Wait and Ye Shall Receive!!!!!!!

I got the call today at 12:30p.m!!!! The call that has changed my life forever! It's a girl and she is 5 months old and the most incredible child I have ever seen! I can not post her Ethiopian name or a picture but I can tell you that her name will be Grace L(ethiopian birth name) Elizabeth Flaherty. I am beyond ecstatic. I will post details of the call later this weekend when I've had a chance to digest it all.

I went to see Jason Mraz

I found the cure for the adoption blues. It's called go to a Jason Mraz concert. Seriously, if that guy can't put you in a good mood you're just not capable of having one. I went with my sister Kate and when we got to our seats we noticed that there was a small stage set up right next to our seats. The small stage was in the middle of the venue. And by next to I mean I could sit in my chair with my hand on the stage, that's how close it was. Anyway, the reason for the small stage? Well, Jason and three of his band members leave the big stage and come to the small stage for the first encore. Yes, I was just feet away from him. And when he left the stage to walk back to the main stage he walked right by me and shook my hand! Yes, he shook my hand! While I swore to never wash my hand again, I did let my normal grownup brain taker over and sadly, I did wash it this morning. But I did think twice about it. I also got two pictures on my camera phone and while it's a great picture of his bongo player, Jason is sadly a little fuzzy. If I ever learn how to get the pictures off the phone I'll try to post them to the blog. But since I've technologically challenged that might not happen. Anyway, it was a fantastic concert and a great lifting of the spirit for me. Now let's just hope there is a referral on the horizon!

I Got Nothin

So, no news to report. I get an update later today from my agency so perhaps there have been some referrals that I haven't heard about but as far as I know, things haven't really started to move yet.

A friend of mine forwarded me an e-mail yesterday of an article that was written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer,Cleveland, Ohio. She made a list of the 45 lessons life taught her. There were a number that really stood out to me so I put them in my blog as a reminder of the lessons I want to use in my own life.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
22. Over prepare, and then go with the flow.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?"
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
44. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Those are some great lessons to learn by. I think I really need to start using #25 every time I get upset about a delay in the adoption process. And as a realist, I think I live by #22 though my sisters would disagree, They think I'm a pessimist. Actually, they call me Eeyore from the Winnie the pooh. I think I just prepare for all the possible outcomes and then hope for the best.

So, I'm hanging in there for now. Something is bound to happen sooner or later and in the poetic words of Jason Mraz...."I won't worry my life away". OK, I probably will, but I do try not to. I'm going to see him in concert tomorrow night and I seriously can.not.wait.