Two years ago this month I made the decision to sign with an agency to per sue international adoption. I was elated, thrilled, petrified,terrified and on top of the world. I had spent years putting my life in order in an attempt to make becoming a mother a reality. In my head, I would either be a mother or would be about to be a mother by the following Christmas. Mind you, this was the made up time frame in my mind, not anything anyone had promised me. In reality, I had no clue that by Christmas 2008 I would have only been on the official wait list for 7 months after almost 6 months of home study and dossier paperwork. Last Christmas was my darkest Christmas ever. I was so down in the dumps and disappointed and it was really hard to keep up a good facade. In fact, I did a terrible job of it.
Fast forward to tonight, about 6 minutes to Christmas and life is completely different. In the room next to mine the most precious baby girl is sleeping soundly after meeting and dazzling a few of her extended family. Tonight I put her in her new Christmas Jammies from Auntie Amy and Uncle Kevin (which happen to match her four other cousins) and read her the two special books I picked out for her, one Christmas, one not, which will be our yearly tradition. That wish I have been longing for is now asleep and has no idea that tomorrow will bring more fun and chaos and love then she could ever imagine. And as I held her close tonight, kissed her beautiful head and laid her down in her crib, I thanked my lucky stars for I had no idea that wishes such as mine were answered so perfectly. Though I have had her in my care for just about a month, it is so clear to me that she is the child I wished for. It had to take this long because last year, she wasn't even born yet. I believe that we're both imperfect humans but that we're the perfect fit to be a family. How lucky I am to be Grace's mother and how grateful I am to have such wonderful family and friends to share the joy with.
May this holiday be as blessed for you as it is for me.
