I will be on a plane to Ethiopia one week from today. Not a year, not a month but a week. After all this wait it's finally come down to just a week. And what a week it will be. I'm not ready as far as being packed. Grace is packed. I have most of the things I'll take set aside but I don't think the packing will happen until Sunday or Monday. The donations are on the floor in Grace's room but haven't made their way inside the Rubbermaid buckets and oddly, I'm OK with that. I'm not freaking out about it because at this point, I know it will happen even if I don't know when.
I have had a very wide range of emotions this week. From complete calm to nervous energy to sobbing on the way to work on Wednesday. And the sobbing wasn't because anything was wrong or because I was upset. First it was because I heard a song on the radio that reminded me of my mother. Then it was seeing someones Christmas lights up and thinking how it will be the first time Grace sees it. Then it was seeing a mother get on the bus with her baby. And while I'm probably not going to get on a bus anytime soon with Grace, just knowing that she'll be here and that someone else will be looking at us and seeing our family is amazing to me. And if one more person tells me I'm so lucky that I didn't have pregnancy hormones I think I might whack em' with a racket. These adoption hormones are making me on the east side of whack-A-doodle. Seriously, my emotions could not be more roller coaster like. But it's all worth it.
I have a couple more things to do around the house. I need to get out the baby monitor and I need to set up her highchair. And I need to get her baby seat and hat and mittens and things together for my brother-in-law to take to the airport when they come to pick us up.
I'm having a work shower on Tuesday, I'm really looking forward to it and they're all so excited to do this for Grace. I can not imagine another child who could be more loved and anticipated than my Gracie.
I finished the family albums and I wrote my letter to her birth family. Probably the second hardest thing I will ever do, with the hardest being meeting her family. And I don't mean hard in an I don't want to do it kind of way. I am really looking forward to the meeting and while I believe they feel they made the right choice, it doesn't mean that they rejoice in it. It doesn't mean that it isn't devastating for them. But in the end, I wrote the things that I would want to hear if I were in their place and I'm happy with the final version.
While I am gone my sister Amy will be posting for me. I'm not sure how much Internet access I will have as it's dial up and not terribly reliable but we'll have an international cell phone to make quick calls back home so hopefully she'll have a few tidbits to post. And once we're in the air on our way back home I have given her permission to finally post Grace's picture and full name. My agency suggests that we wait until we're home to post that but I figure on the plane and close to touching down is OK too. So stay tuned for that. I know it's been a long wait but trust me, it's worth it. She's stunning and I would say that even if I weren't her mother!
