So, I haven't blogged lately because, really, there's nothing to report. I have been officially on the wait list for over 6 months and I'm not sure how much longer it will be. I'm hoping February but it will likely be longer than that. If I let myself, and I occasionally do, I can really get down about it. I miss my punkin and I want them home with me. I suppose for many it's difficult to imagine missing someone you don't even know but for me, it's really true. So instead of having another pity party, I'm going to list things that I am grateful for. Warning: These are not likely to be profound.
1. A brother-in-law named Kevin who can and will fix my computer for free when it's broken or when it's not really broken but I some how managed to mess something up.
2. A brother-in-law named Dennis who comes down and fixes stuff for me without thinking I'm a huge pain in the butt(we all know I'm a small pain in the butt).
3. A niece named Sarah who called me on the eve of the election to hear my stance on Prop. 8 which was the ballot question in California to ban same sex marriage. I have never heard a child so articulately express her opinion on a pretty complex matter. While we shared the same opinion(to legalize same sex marriage) I found it refreshing how she was able to debate the question with people who differed in their opinion and still be respectful. She's an extraordinary girl.
4. A nephew named Nate who loves all Boston sports and has a wicked sense of humor and a heart as deep as the ocean and as big as the tallest mountain. I love that boy.
5. Music. I love pretty much all types of music except for Gregorian chant. I am especially digging Jason Mraz these days. Actually, the title of this blog is a play on one of his songs. His song curbside prophet has a line in it titled waiting for my rocket to come. I changed it to punkin and I sing it every time I log onto this blog.
6. A sister Kate who makes me coffee and reduced fat Cinnamon rolls on Monday night while we watch the Big Bang Theory, which, for the record is the best show on TV.
7. A friend named Karen who struck up a conversation in the middle of Disney World with a woman who adopted a little boy from Ethiopia, and then politely grilled her for information. Not everyone has friends who would do that.
8. YouTube. Self-explanatory!
9. A job I love. In tough economic times, I'm just grateful to have a job, but especially grateful to have a job that I love, feel challenged in and have the opportunity to help someone fund their education.
10. A sister named Amy who calls me in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner at her California family's house to ask me who sang "To Sir, With Love". It's LuLu in case you were wondering. She thinks I'm her human juke box and I get a big chuckle out of her calling me at random times and saying, hey, who sings.........
Actually, this was kind of fun. I think I'll try this again some time.
In the meantime, if you're looking for a good cause and a fun pair of shoes, go to http://www.tomsshoes.com
Monday, December 8, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Making Progress
So I've been off for the past couple of days and one of my goals was to work on clearing out my computer and bookshelf from the punkins room. I am happy to report that I have been successful and here's the pictures to prove it.
I'm leaving the couch in the room for now. I have read and heard that kids sometimes have some anxiety sleeping by themselves when they get home. It's a result of being in large rooms with so many other kids. So if I need to, I will sleep in there on the couch. I think it will be easier to transition myself out of their room instead of transitioning them out of mine.
The crib will go where the lamp is. I am borrowing Jacobs crib but he's not quite ready to get out of it.
The blue and white blanket was made by my friend Karen McCabe's mother. I went to a fundraiser that Karen had for her foundation the Five Project. It's an organization that helps families in China and the US who have children with Autism. The blanket was a raffle and I was so hoping to win it and I did. Perhaps it's a sign that the punkin is a boy.
The Painting was an auction item at the fundraiser. I thought it was a perfect picture for the Punkins Room. A little reminder that they had a first mom that loved them before they come home to me.
Well, that's all the news for now. I keep waiting for the day when I have BIG news to post.
I'm leaving the couch in the room for now. I have read and heard that kids sometimes have some anxiety sleeping by themselves when they get home. It's a result of being in large rooms with so many other kids. So if I need to, I will sleep in there on the couch. I think it will be easier to transition myself out of their room instead of transitioning them out of mine.
The crib will go where the lamp is. I am borrowing Jacobs crib but he's not quite ready to get out of it.
The blue and white blanket was made by my friend Karen McCabe's mother. I went to a fundraiser that Karen had for her foundation the Five Project. It's an organization that helps families in China and the US who have children with Autism. The blanket was a raffle and I was so hoping to win it and I did. Perhaps it's a sign that the punkin is a boy.
The Painting was an auction item at the fundraiser. I thought it was a perfect picture for the Punkins Room. A little reminder that they had a first mom that loved them before they come home to me.
Well, that's all the news for now. I keep waiting for the day when I have BIG news to post.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Two Sides of the Family
When I started the adoption process there were a lot of things I worried about. One in particular was that the baby wouldn't have a father. Actually, I have to say that it wasn't so much the father part since I have so many great males in my family who I know will be great male influences. I guess my real concern was that they would only end up with one side of the family. I always enjoyed having my mom's side and my dad's side. Though we were always closer to my mom's side, my dad's side had a lot more aunts and uncles and cousins and though I didn't see them that often, I liked knowing there were so many of them.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I realize that the punkin will have two sides. The mommy's family side and the mommy's family of friends side.
The mommy's family side consists of my dad and step mom, my sisters Amy and Kate and their husbands Kevin and Dennis and their amazing children Nate, Sarah, Meghan and Jake. It also includes my Aunt Wendy and Uncle Hank who are like a second set of parents, my cousin Ann and her husband Jon and Ella and Caleb, my cousin Jenny and Ethan and my cousin Eric. Not to mention all my cousins, (especially my cousin Erin whose always seems to send me a friendly e-mail just when I think the waiting is about to make me crack. Her timing is always impeccable), aunts, uncles and family friends on both sides. I know that I have an incredible support team and I know how lucky I am but a child can never have enough people that love them.
For those who know me well, you realize that I don't make friends that easily. I have lots of acquaintances and people I enjoy but I have a very small group of true blue friends that I cherish. They are the people that read this blog religiously(even though hardly anyone uses the comments section!), are calling or e-mailing to check in on me and how the process is going and are waiting for the day I call or e-mail with the good news of who my punkin is and when I'll bring her or him home. These are the people that will be the "other side" of the family. They include, but are not limited to, Karen and Jimmy who I've mentioned before, and their four kids. Ellen and Jon and their three kids. Ellen and is my friend that I met in the seventh grade and we've been there for each other ever since. And even though they're in Florida now, the separation hasn't made a difference. There's Andrea and Rob and their dog Austin who live in Ohio. Andrea and I met over 7 years ago when we both worked at Lesley University. I think it took about a half a week for us to become buddies and we've been super close ever since. She and Rob are gentle souls and I feel so grateful to have them in my life. Then there's Cyn, the Big Meanie, my roommate my senior year of college. On paper there probably aren't two people who had less in common than she and I did but we just clicked. We have that kind of friendship where you don't need to talk often or give the friendship a lot of maintenance. We have the kind of friendship that you can come back to and every time it's like you never left. And her and her husband Mark and their dog Sammy Davison Jr live nearby in New Hampshire. Let's not forget Brenda and Bill in Delaware, even though he is an orioles fan. Brenda was one of my college room mates and one of the first friends I met in college. And of course I can't forget Amy and Jim and Olivia in Kansas. Amy, Brenda and I were college roommates and they are responsible for some of my fondest memories. I doubt the punkin would have gotten that many people out of a dad's side of the family! I feel grateful for the people in my life and the laughter, fun and friendship that we have shared. And I'm so glad that that they'll be the aunts, uncles and cousins that make up the second side of the family. Now if you'd all move closer I'd be a really happy girl.
If I didn't mention you it isn't because you're not important, it's just that I have to save some of you for other posts.
I guess the point of this post is to remind me that there are things in life that work themselves out and family is one of them. Some people have family, some people have a family of friends. I'm lucky enough to have both.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I realize that the punkin will have two sides. The mommy's family side and the mommy's family of friends side.
The mommy's family side consists of my dad and step mom, my sisters Amy and Kate and their husbands Kevin and Dennis and their amazing children Nate, Sarah, Meghan and Jake. It also includes my Aunt Wendy and Uncle Hank who are like a second set of parents, my cousin Ann and her husband Jon and Ella and Caleb, my cousin Jenny and Ethan and my cousin Eric. Not to mention all my cousins, (especially my cousin Erin whose always seems to send me a friendly e-mail just when I think the waiting is about to make me crack. Her timing is always impeccable), aunts, uncles and family friends on both sides. I know that I have an incredible support team and I know how lucky I am but a child can never have enough people that love them.
For those who know me well, you realize that I don't make friends that easily. I have lots of acquaintances and people I enjoy but I have a very small group of true blue friends that I cherish. They are the people that read this blog religiously(even though hardly anyone uses the comments section!), are calling or e-mailing to check in on me and how the process is going and are waiting for the day I call or e-mail with the good news of who my punkin is and when I'll bring her or him home. These are the people that will be the "other side" of the family. They include, but are not limited to, Karen and Jimmy who I've mentioned before, and their four kids. Ellen and Jon and their three kids. Ellen and is my friend that I met in the seventh grade and we've been there for each other ever since. And even though they're in Florida now, the separation hasn't made a difference. There's Andrea and Rob and their dog Austin who live in Ohio. Andrea and I met over 7 years ago when we both worked at Lesley University. I think it took about a half a week for us to become buddies and we've been super close ever since. She and Rob are gentle souls and I feel so grateful to have them in my life. Then there's Cyn, the Big Meanie, my roommate my senior year of college. On paper there probably aren't two people who had less in common than she and I did but we just clicked. We have that kind of friendship where you don't need to talk often or give the friendship a lot of maintenance. We have the kind of friendship that you can come back to and every time it's like you never left. And her and her husband Mark and their dog Sammy Davison Jr live nearby in New Hampshire. Let's not forget Brenda and Bill in Delaware, even though he is an orioles fan. Brenda was one of my college room mates and one of the first friends I met in college. And of course I can't forget Amy and Jim and Olivia in Kansas. Amy, Brenda and I were college roommates and they are responsible for some of my fondest memories. I doubt the punkin would have gotten that many people out of a dad's side of the family! I feel grateful for the people in my life and the laughter, fun and friendship that we have shared. And I'm so glad that that they'll be the aunts, uncles and cousins that make up the second side of the family. Now if you'd all move closer I'd be a really happy girl.
If I didn't mention you it isn't because you're not important, it's just that I have to save some of you for other posts.
I guess the point of this post is to remind me that there are things in life that work themselves out and family is one of them. Some people have family, some people have a family of friends. I'm lucky enough to have both.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Revising My Expectations
So, last December I officially entered into this adoption journey. I chose my agency, sent in my initial application fee and somehow convinced myself that December of this year, I would actually have my punkin home. I thought that by this time I would be about to travel and would be finishing up a bedroom and starting the punkins Christmas shopping so I didn't have to worry about it when we got home and were trying to settle in. I basically set up this perfect little time line in my head and it all worked perfectly, right? WRONG! The problem with my timeline is that I grossly underestimated how long it would take to get the paperwork done. I had no idea that home studies take several weeks, collecting documents can be agonizing and that fingerprints clearing homeland security take time. In my head, this whole process was going to take under a year from start to finish. I was optimistic. That's not my nature usually but hey, I guess there's a first time for everything.
So now I regroup. As of today I have been on the official wait list for 4 months and about 2 weeks. As of the latest update from my agency the family that's next of the waiting list for a child older than 18 months has a wait date of early February. That means that they have been waiting 9 months. If that wait holds true(again, being optimistic here) it will be at least February before I find out who the Punkin is. In the big picture of life, 9 months is not a big deal. In fact that's about a normal pregnancy(minus the 6 month paperwork period). I just have to remember that it will happen when it happens. I read on another blog where someone wrote, "I would have liked the wait to have been 6 months shorter, but if it had been, I would have ended up with a different child, and we couldn't imagine not having the boy we got". So, I need to learn patience.
So for now, I wait. And I dream, and I anticipate but my pity party for one is over now. What's worth having is worth waiting for so I'm just siting here, waiting for my punkin to come
So now I regroup. As of today I have been on the official wait list for 4 months and about 2 weeks. As of the latest update from my agency the family that's next of the waiting list for a child older than 18 months has a wait date of early February. That means that they have been waiting 9 months. If that wait holds true(again, being optimistic here) it will be at least February before I find out who the Punkin is. In the big picture of life, 9 months is not a big deal. In fact that's about a normal pregnancy(minus the 6 month paperwork period). I just have to remember that it will happen when it happens. I read on another blog where someone wrote, "I would have liked the wait to have been 6 months shorter, but if it had been, I would have ended up with a different child, and we couldn't imagine not having the boy we got". So, I need to learn patience.
So for now, I wait. And I dream, and I anticipate but my pity party for one is over now. What's worth having is worth waiting for so I'm just siting here, waiting for my punkin to come
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Blessings
This is a picture of an amazing gift I was recently given. Now, I don't want this blog to become a listing of the gifts that people have given me. Since most of you reading this know me so well, you know that the real gifts in my life are the people who have stuck with me and have supported me not just through this journey but through out the years. One of those people is my friend Karen, who happened to give me this incredible gift. I met Karen when I was in the seventh grade(also the same year I met my friend Ellen, whom I will no doubt write about countless times in this blog as well). We were both candy stripers at the local rehab hospital and then we ended up in a couple of classes at the Joyce Junior High School. Except for about a seven month period in high school where we stopped speaking, we've been friends ever since. We've been a part of every important event in the others life. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding and I am the godmother of her daughter Erin. She helped me through the loss of my mother and has been a great support to me during this journey to my punkin. When she gave me the Madonna and Child ornament it hit me that now we're going to be mothers together. For a while I wondered whether or not I would ever get to experience motherhood and not only do I get to share that with Karen, but I also get to share it with all of the other important women in my life. How blessed am I?
In unrelated news, I still haven't decided on a girl's name but so far the votes of those who read this blog are for Grace and Hannah. I'll keep you posted on what I decide.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Making Progress and Girls Names
So last weekend I finally cleaned out the closet in the Punkins room. Lucky for you that I didn't take a before picture. But trust me, it was stuffed full of junk that as it turns out, I really didn't need. So now I know exactly what's in there and why. And because I'm getting really fancy with this blog now, here are the after pictures.
I suppose you're wondering why I have baby clothes when I don't know who is coming yet. Well, there are two reasons. 1. A couple of months ago I just couldn't stand it anymore and I had to buy SOMETHING so I went to the outlets in Kittery and bought some things in several different sizes. I got ridiculously good deals on it. 2. Anything I bought that I can't use will be donated to the orphanage. I will be taking two large bins of clothing/supplies to donate and nothing will go to waste.
You'll also notice that the Punkin has 4 stuffed animals. The lobster was a gift from Aunt Brenda and Uncle Bill from their honeymoon to Maine. (Brenda was one of my college roommates and a life long friend). The giraffe was the first thing I bought for the punkin back in February. The Tigger is from Meghan and Jacob because they were in Target one day and just needed to buy a present for the baby. The elephant is from Disney World. I went there in July for a conference and since I didn't know what size to buy I bought a stuffed animal. Those always fit.
The books....well, you just can't have enough books. I actually have quite a few children's books I've collected over the years but I wanted the punkin to have some of their own books that haven't already been loved and chewed to death. I especially love Ezra Jack Keats. I think the book collection will be expanding very quickly because books always fit too.
The Picture frame and door hanging were the first baby gifts I got. They're from Auntie Kate and Uncle Dennis. I look at that frame every time I need a reality check. The wait has been hard but it will be so worth it when I have a picture of that beautiful little face to go in it.
And my apologies to Auntie Amy, as I forgot to take a picture of the sea world shirt. But trust me, it's cute!
So I've narrowed the girls names to five possibilities. Maggie is still a contender but not a slam dunk. I also love Grace, Emma, Hannah(forgive me AuntNancy but I do love the name)and Rebecca. Leave me a comment and let me know which one you love. Middle name will be Elizabeth.
As of Friday I have 3 months down and who knows how many more to go.
I suppose you're wondering why I have baby clothes when I don't know who is coming yet. Well, there are two reasons. 1. A couple of months ago I just couldn't stand it anymore and I had to buy SOMETHING so I went to the outlets in Kittery and bought some things in several different sizes. I got ridiculously good deals on it. 2. Anything I bought that I can't use will be donated to the orphanage. I will be taking two large bins of clothing/supplies to donate and nothing will go to waste.
You'll also notice that the Punkin has 4 stuffed animals. The lobster was a gift from Aunt Brenda and Uncle Bill from their honeymoon to Maine. (Brenda was one of my college roommates and a life long friend). The giraffe was the first thing I bought for the punkin back in February. The Tigger is from Meghan and Jacob because they were in Target one day and just needed to buy a present for the baby. The elephant is from Disney World. I went there in July for a conference and since I didn't know what size to buy I bought a stuffed animal. Those always fit.
The books....well, you just can't have enough books. I actually have quite a few children's books I've collected over the years but I wanted the punkin to have some of their own books that haven't already been loved and chewed to death. I especially love Ezra Jack Keats. I think the book collection will be expanding very quickly because books always fit too.
The Picture frame and door hanging were the first baby gifts I got. They're from Auntie Kate and Uncle Dennis. I look at that frame every time I need a reality check. The wait has been hard but it will be so worth it when I have a picture of that beautiful little face to go in it.
And my apologies to Auntie Amy, as I forgot to take a picture of the sea world shirt. But trust me, it's cute!
So I've narrowed the girls names to five possibilities. Maggie is still a contender but not a slam dunk. I also love Grace, Emma, Hannah(forgive me AuntNancy but I do love the name)and Rebecca. Leave me a comment and let me know which one you love. Middle name will be Elizabeth.
As of Friday I have 3 months down and who knows how many more to go.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Putting It All Into Perspective
Last night I went to a Waiting Family Support group through my adoption agency. A "Waiting Family" is what they call those of us who are on the wait list and waiting for a referral. There were families there from a lot of the different programs and there were three couples who had just gotten their referrals from China. They waited 30-31 months for a referral. That's over two and a half years. Makes you feel a little silly for being anxious over waiting 2 and a half months so far. All three of the families got the pictures of their daughters just before our meeting and it was thrilling to hear them talk about getting "the call" and what it was like and how they felt. And to see them melt over these baby girls that they been longing for was a little bit magical. I'm so excited for when it's my turn and I get to see my punkin for the first time. There is another family in the group adopting from China who has been waiting 27 months and they expect to wait at least another 14 months. 10 months or so doesn't seem so bad right about now. And even though it's an estimate and it could go longer, at least it's not 4 years.
I was really excited that at the waiting parents group there were two other single woman also adopting from Ethiopia. It was nice to have someone to commiserate with and to talk program details with. I'm hoping I can make some good connections and maybe some new friends out of it.
Well, I'm off to watch Michael Phelps try to win another medal. I know he's swimming all the races, but man, he's killing me. All these late nights staying up to watch him race are beginning to catch up with me but I can't help it. I am an Olympic junkie. Hopefully he got the memo that since I'm staying up to watch him, he needs to win!
I was really excited that at the waiting parents group there were two other single woman also adopting from Ethiopia. It was nice to have someone to commiserate with and to talk program details with. I'm hoping I can make some good connections and maybe some new friends out of it.
Well, I'm off to watch Michael Phelps try to win another medal. I know he's swimming all the races, but man, he's killing me. All these late nights staying up to watch him race are beginning to catch up with me but I can't help it. I am an Olympic junkie. Hopefully he got the memo that since I'm staying up to watch him, he needs to win!
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