Do You Know Where Your Joy Is?

For me, it was sitting last night in my living room. Gracie had developed a fever from her vaccination shots, and as I was holding her she snuggled into my neck and patted my face. Before she started to drift off she wrapped her hand around my finger. Such a little gesture that for me spoke volumes. I remember being little and not feeling well and the things that always made me feel better were snuggling with my mom or Dad and having them talk to me softly and tell me it would all get better. I found such comfort and trust and safety in those moments. Last night I was the giver of the moments and it made me feel joyful. Not because my Gracie was feeling under the weather, but because in just over 4 months I have become to her what my parents were to me. The comforter, the one who tries to make everything better, the go to person. The mommy. I am grateful every day for our bond that formed pretty quickly and grows stronger with every day. Before I was a parent, I didn't understand that even when your children are sick or unhappy, there are still valuable lessons that come out of that. Now that I'm in the "club" I cherish all the moments, but lets face it, to date my experience has been really positive so let me remember this when it gets rougher! Imagine how different my life would have been if I ignored my longing for a child. If I had decided it was too hard, or not possible or that I wasn't strong enough to be a single parent I could have spent last night in my living room by myself wondering where my life was going. Now I know exactly where my life is going. It's completely connected to my child who while born to another woman is so completely connected to my soul. That to me is what joy is. If you haven't looked for your joy today, I highly recommend that you do. It could be sitting in your living room.