Summer Fun, Friends and Family

What a fun summer we've had.  We had a great vacation, visits with friends and family and just lots of good playtime.  I was lucky enough to have Fridays off for the summer and I have loved having the extra full day to spend with Grace.  Sadly, tomorrow is our first Friday back, but it was great while it lasted.

Last Friday we had a play date with Ermiyas and his mom at a great play ground.  Ermiyas' parents and I were in the same travel group and while we live pretty close to each other, it took us a while to make the schedules work.  But it was worth the wait.  Ermiyas is a lovely, sweet, outgoing boy and he was beyond sweet with Grace.  While she was contemplating going down the slide he stood at the bottom and said "Gracie, I catch you, I catch you!"  Don't they look adorable? 

We also had the pleasure of a great visit with my friend Brenda and her family.  This was Brenda's first time meeting Grace and introducing her to her son Thomas who is almost 15 months.  He and Grace had a lot of fun together and got along well.  We went to the aquarium and did some sight seeing and just had a lot of fun together.  Below is a picture of the two of us and our babies.  It's hard to imagine that 20 years ago we were in college and having fun and here were are now raising our kids together.  How lucky I am so be able to do this with her.  I just wish they lived closer. 

We also got to spend last Friday night with my aunt and uncle and cousins.  It's rare that every one's schedule jives at the same time but it worked out that most of us could get together and we just had a great time.  My aunt and uncle gave Grace a little tike's slide that has made the rounds in their neighborhood and they thought she might get a kick out of it.  Wow, were they right.  She LOVES that slide.

Grace is walking really well now.  She isn't crawling at all anymore and just loves to walk everywhere.  As you can imagine, she is into absolutely everything but she's so much fun.  She's like a little parrot repeating everything you say.  She soaks up everything like a sponge.  She is doing really great.  As usual the only concern is her weight.  She is currently 15 pounds 14 0z which for a 16 moth old is on the small side.  Of course, she gets mistaken for a 9 month old and twice I have been stopped in a store only to have the other person tell me they thought she was a doll.  Not that she looked like a doll but that they thought I had a doll sitting in the front seat of my carriage.  I know she's small but she certainly isn't quiet and really, who walks around Target with a baby doll in the front seat of their carriage?  Well....two people think I do.  Her GI doctor has put her on an appetite stimulant to see if that will help her gain faster.  So far I would say that I see a small improvement but I'll wait until we see the nutritionist in a few weeks to be sure.

I look forward to enjoying what's left of the summer but I am really looking forward to the fall.  Did I mention I bought her Halloween Costume?  Yup, I'm that person that you're thinking about when you see costumes in August and think who is crazy enough to buy a costume now.  And now you have your answer...her name is Beth.  But in my defense, I had a specific costume in mind and I needed to make sure I got the wright size.  Can you guess what she's going to be?  I bet you can!

Referral-Versary

One year ago today I saw this face for the very first time.

I must have looked at those pictures at least a hundred times that day.  I still remember every detail of the day and the phone call telling me that I had a daughter.  I remember running up and down the hallway at work telling everyone that the long awaited call had finally come.  My co-workers ran back with me to look over my shoulder as I showed her picture on my computer screen.  I remember calling my sisters and e-mailing the pictures and crying with them.  I was in such a fog I didn't realize that there were actually two pictures that were sent with the referral information. Thank goodness for my sister Amy who mentioned it to me.  I remember calling my dad and hearing the overwhelming excitement in his voice.  I remember meeting my family for dinner that night and my step-mom had already loaded her picture onto her phone.  It was a fantastic day, a fantastic feeling.  After all the angst and uncertainty and waiting, I finally knew who my punkin was.  To me it was finally seeing who I had been hoping, praying , wishing and working towards for so many years....my child.

I know that the process and emotions are different for every family.  When I first started the process I requested a child of either gender, 0-24 months.  Based on the wait time and trends at the time I got on the waiting list, I assumed it was more likely that my child would be a boy in the 18-24 month  range.  I had absolutely no preference but again, I thought it would be a boy.  When I got the call I was shocked and thrilled to learn that the punkin was a four month old baby girl.  The moment I saw her picture it was clear to me that she was the child I was waiting for.  I loved her instantly and to be quite honest, it scared me a little. It's a strange feeling to just give your self over to another person you've never met and have no idea how they will accept you.  At the same time, I just knew it was right.  She is supposed to be my daughter, I am supposed to be her mother.  The circumstances that brought us together as a family are tragic.  I think about her birth family daily, but especially today.  Because of their love for her and their  desire for her to have more than they could provide, I have a beautiful, funny, sassy, head strong daughter who is napping in the next room.  I have more than I could have ever hoped for.  I'm rich beyond words and not in the monetary sense but in all the ways that really matter. 

The day I got her referral was the best day of my life to that date.  I couldn't imagine that it was possible to be more excited and thrilled than I felt at that moment.  Now here I am a year later and I still feel that way.  Even though parenting is not easy and it definitely comes with bouts of uncertainty, I thank my lucky stars that the stars aligned and we ended up together

• 

Today, we took this picture.  I think we make a pretty good pair.

Back to Reality

Well, we're back from two weeks in Colorado and I have to say, we had a fantastic trip.  Grace did really well on the flights and she just adapted so well to all the changes and new people.  She had an absolute blast with her cousins and met some extended cousins(my brother-in-law Kevin's family).  She also decided that there was something about the air in Colorado that made her want to walk and she took her first steps the day we arrived.  She is now taking about 8-9 steps at a time but is still crawling a lot since it's faster.

We had so many fun things happen on this trip.  Grace and I were able to rent a car and drive to Pueblo to meet up with my dear friend, and former college roommate Amy and her delightful daughter Olivia.  Amy and I haven't seen each other since she moved to Kansas about 8 years ago.  Olivia was a baby the last time I saw her and it was such a treat to see what a wonderful young girl she has become, not to mention that she is cute as a button and reminds me SO much of her mom.  It was so great to see them and it was a joy to introduce them to Grace.  It's amazing to see how our lives have progressed but I'm so glad that we're still friends after all these years.  So many of my favorite college memories are wrapped up in Amy. 

Our first week in Colorado was spent in Denver so I could attend a conference.  My sister Amy and her family drove in from California to watch Grace while I was at the conference and she had so much fun with them.  The second week was spent at an amazing house in the mountains in Breckenridge.  I swear Colorado is the only place I could imagine leaving New England for.  We spent the week with both my sisters and their families and my brother-in-laws family and it was so much fun to get all the kids together.  They all got along as if they had been together for years.  It was so much fun for them to see Grace and she just loved them all.  The highlight of her vacation was getting my nephew Nate to play his ring tone over and over again.  It's Justin Biebers song Baby.  I don't get Justin Bieber, but clearly my daughter does because every time he played it for her she got down with her bad self. 

Jones, Flaherty and Walsh kids

So, you know my beautiful, tiny, 15 pound, almost 16 month old daughter?  Well guess what?  Turns out she is a bit of a bully.  She took out a 5 year old at a play area at the Pueblo mall and a 15 month old who was 10 pounds heavier than her at the Denver Science Museum.  While there is a part of me that's Glad to know she won't let people intimidate her because of her size, I am hoping that she doesn't wind up in juvenile detention before she's five.  I did not witness the episode at the science museum but she was apparently playing at a children's area and she fell in love with this fish named Poppy.  She visited Poppy and then crawled away.  These two other little boys went up to the tank to see Poppy and Grace made a bee line back to the tank except there wasn't really room for her.  However, she managed to squeeze herself in, then pushed her bottom back and knocked over the two little boys.  Yeah, a delicate flower she's not.  The incident at the mall involved a mirror that she was looking in and then she crawled away from.  She then sees a five year old, yes a FIVE year old, out of the corner of her eye playing in the mirror.  She makes a beeline for him and before I can catch her she takes her right arm and sideswipes him, knocking him over.  I think the poor kid was stunned that he was taken out by a baby.  Needless to say she was reprimanded and we left the play place which resulted in the mother of all fits.  Yeah, gotta love this age.  Where is the chapter in all the baby books that talks about your tiny baby bully and how to keep her out of jail?  Seriously, I kid when I say that.  I know it happens with most kids and while I'm glad to see she won't likely be pushed around by other kids, I certainly don't want her pushing them around.  Ahhhhhhh.... the joys of mommy hood.

Grace looking at Poppy the fish

The only down side to our trip was that my nephew Nate had to have an emergency appendectomy on the Wednesday of our second week.  Poor kid was most looking forward to having all his first cousins together and about 15 minutes after they arrived he had to be taken to the emergency room.  I'm happy to say he's doing well after two days in the hospital and surgery.  He's such a trooper.  Most kids would have been complaining and he was worried that he was ruining every one's vacation.  We're so glad he's OK now.

Nate headed into surgery

Well, that about it for now.  Will post again very soon.

Rocky Mountain High

On Saturday Grace and I are heading for the mountains, the Rocky Mountains and we can't wait.  I have a work conference in Denver for a couple of days and my sister Amy and her family are meeting us there.  They will watch Grace when I am at the conference which is fantastic.  Amy's in-laws live in Colorado and will get to meet Grace in person for the first time.  After the conference my sister Kate and her family will fly in and all the families will spend a week in Breckenridge.  You should see the house we're renting.  I know I won't want to leave.  I'm looking forward to reading good books, having coffee on a deck over looking breathtaking mountains, great conversation and lots of fun with my girl.  So we'll check in soon with a full report.

Seven Months

It's hard to believe that we've been home seven months.  It's amazing how much she has changed in such a short period of time.  We had our final home study update on Friday and our social worker couldn't get over what a dramatic change there's been not just since December but since the last visit in March.  So here's a list of things about my baby girl that she's either doing or I love about her.

1.  She's a climber.  Yesterday she spent the better part of a half an hour trying to climb up on the couch.  If she had another inch and a half on her or could have arranged the pillows just right on the floor underneath her she could have made it.  Let's just say I'm glad she didn't.  She also tried to climb onto a little ottoman I have and she was nearly successful. 

2.  She loves to say Mama.  Over and over and over.   While it can get a little monotonous when she's repeated it for an hour straight in the car (no exaggeration), I just love to hear it and the cute little way she says it.

3.  She will now come over to where I am sitting and try to tickle me.  She holds up her hands and wiggles her fingers and says ticka ticka ticka.  Most of the time she doesn't even make contact with my skin but she thinks it's hilarious and quite frankly, it is.

4.  She shushes me.  Last week we were at a restaurant and she was being really loud.  I tried the quiet voice, inside voice, yada yada yada.  Finally I looked at her and put my finger over my lips and said Gracie, Shhhhh.  She looked at me and said Mama. Shhhh and repeated the action and copied the low voice.  She has shushed me several times since then.  Usually when I say something she doesn't like such as don't put that in your mouth.

5.  She adores music of every kind.  Seriously, if she hears a commercial she is dancing to it.  And she does this little shoulder and head move that reminds me of Janet Jackson from her control video.  If I sing a song we have to sing it over and over and over. So much so that I would like to shuffle the itsy bitsy spider off to buffalo.  And she sings along too. 

6.  She has a temper.  Everyone tells me how mellow she is and for the most part that's true but take something away from her and girlfriend can throw a fit.  The throw your head back, stiff body, screaming to the heavens fit.  Yeah, me no likie.  We're working on it but she is so strong spirited and stubborn that it's a real challenge. 

7.  She loves to take all the pictures off the shelves in the living room and she has conversations with the people in the pictures.  Last night she had a lively conversation with a picture of my mother who passed away 8 years ago.  She must have been catching her up on all that's been happening.  She also likes to chew on the picture frames.  I keep telling her it's rude to eat your relatives but she still tries anyway. 

8.  We have so much fun together.  Yesterday we spent most of the day inside enjoying the air conditioning and playing and yet we had so much fun.  We built towers and played with baby dolls and puzzles and she sat on my lap and we had tickle games and peek-a-boo and it was so much fun,

9.  If it's open, we should close it.  If it's closed we should open it.  The second I open the dishwasher, she is behind me trying to close it.  If the drawer is closed, we need to open.  That keeps us very busy.

10.  She is obsessed with the toilet.  Twice I have forgotten to shut the bathroom door fast enough and both times I have found her with her arms splashing in the toilet.  And I'm not talking about leaving her unattended.  I'm talking about walking from her room to the living room which is perhaps a 10 second walk and thinking she is crawling right behind me.  Then I turn around to find she made a pit stop to go swimming in the toilet.  And both times we were about to head out the door.  Gotta love those last minute unplanned for baths. 

This was Grace in November 2009 at Horizon House in Ethiopia, shortly before I arrived.  She was on a feeding tube because she wasn't eating enough.

This is Grace as of early June.  What a difference a couple of months can make.

Leaving My Punkin for a Bit

So tomorrow I need to put on my big girl mommy pants and get on a plane and leave my baby girl for two days.  I have to go to a conference and while I will only be gone less than 72 hours, I am FREAKING out!  Everything is in place. My sister and brother-in-law will be watching her and I know she'll be totally fine and have a great time.  I know it will be an adventure to sleep over at Auntie Kate's.  But I won't be the one tucking her in and singing her to sleep or getting her up in the morning and ready for the day.  I'm not worried about her.  I'm worried about me but I will get through it.  It's a short trip so that's a blessing.  It's a conference I'm excited to be attending, and I will be able to eat my dinner without cutting up someones else's food.  But man, how I will miss my Gracie.  My lovely sister was kind enough to read my two pages of instructions on everything from how to handle her hair and skin care to what arm she prefers to held in for her night time bottle.  Kate could take care of her with her eyes closed but it makes me feel better to write it all down.  Tonight I was telling Grace that Mommy was going away on a work trip and would be gone three sleeps.  I told her who would get her up and who would put her to sleep etc.  I said is that OK and she grinned and said Yup.  Now, she probably had no idea what I said but it made me laugh.  We'll be fine.  Honestly, it will probably be good for both of us. So, wish me luck!

I Love Days Like Today

Today was such a good day. The kind of day where you just wonder how you got so lucky to have such good people in your life. It started off with a trip to NH to visit my dear friend Cyn, who was my roommate my senior year in college. On paper we have nothing in common. She was neat, I was a slob. She loved Jim Morrison, I loved Bryan Adams and show tunes. She majored in business, I majored in music. We should have been a case of two people who lived together for a year and never saw each other again. I'm so glad we don't live our lives by paper and that even though we seem like the odd couple, we make great friends. We have that kind of friendship that you don't have to work at. It's just always there whenever you need it. We could not see each other for months but it never feels that way. We're comfortable with each other, we appreciate and accept each other for who we are and we're proud of the families we've created, me with Grace and Cyn with her husband Mark and dog Sammy. Cyn loves her dog Sammy and prefers that her parenting be limited to the canine persuasion. But she loves my kid. She has loved Grace since before we knew who she was. She's a big part of the support system that got me through the wait. When I finally got my referral the first gift I got in the mail was from Cyn and it was a Plymouth State onesie. During the wait to travel I would receive a random e-mail from her checking in to see if I'd heard any updates or needed anything. She raved over whatever recent pictures I had received and rejoiced with me at my baby shower and when I finally got the go ahead to travel. She came to the airport to greet us when Grace came home but had to leave before we got in because our plane was over four hours late and the weather in NH was getting bad and she needed to make sure she could get home in one piece. When we get together she marvels over Grace's newest accomplishments and sits on the floor and plays with her. She loves her and she doesn't need to tell me that because she wears it all over herself. Today we were having lunch and I said something to Grace and she broke into this big smile and she just gave me that, my mommy is so awesome look(I cherish that because I know the looks in the years to come will not have that same compliment). Cyn said, "Did you just see that look she gave you?" and I said yes. And then my old stoic friend Cyn teared up and said "I'm just so, so happy for you that this has happened to you and to see her look at you with such love makes me so happy." How lucky are Grace and I to have someone in our life that feels like us being a family brings happiness to her.

After we left Cyn we went to the birthday party of a little boy named Asefa. Asefa's parents and I were in the same travel group and he and Grace were at Horizon House at the same time though she was with the infants and he was with the bigger kids. I haven't really written that much about our actual stay in Ethiopia but when I look back to that week I always think about how lucky we were to travel with such fantastic families. It's such an overwhelming experience to be in another country and meeting your child for the first time and I can't imagine what the experience would have been like without such amazing people to share it with. They get the wait, the fear of being rejected by this child you've wanted for so long, the anxiety and excitement of traveling to their birth place and meeting with their birth families. It's hard to explain what that's like unless you've lived it. Asefa's parents were part of that experience and quite frankly, had it not been for them,and the other families in the group, I don't know how I would have survived the plane ride home since my sister and I were both so sick. All of the families we traveled with were fantastic but Asefa's parents were particularly wonderful to me. I remember crying because I was so sick but was so worried about Grace and Asefa's mom just sat next to me and held mine and my sisters hands and said, "We've got you and we've got her. We have plenty of hands on this plane so you rest and you don't worry". Talk about a godsend.

We also got to see Tomas, another little boy whose family we traveled with. Tomas' family will always hold a special place in my heart because we went on our birth family visit with them and one other family. It was probably the most emotional day I have ever experienced. Totally rewarding but exhausting in every possible way. After the meeting we made our way back down two hours of THE bumpiest road I have ever in my life been on to Awassa where we stayed the night at a hotel. The three of our families had dinner together and shared our experiences and stories which is something I will never forget.

Both boys are doing unbelievably well and it was so great to see them and their families and reminisce and get caught up on how everyone is doing. We took lots of pictures(which I'm not posting because I didn't think to ask their parents permission)of the three kids together. Neither boy knew Grace that well as they are older and were in a different house but they enjoyed seeing her and she them. Everyone kept remarking on how amazing the difference in Grace was. Tomas' family got to Ethiopia a few days before the rest of the group and they had gone into the baby house and saw Grace. Tomas' mom told me that she couldn't believe that Grace was the same baby that she held who was limp as a rag doll and is now this crawling, babbling, dancing little girl. All the kids have come so far and I'm in awe of how resilient they all are. Especially the older boys who had the language barrier to overcome as well as having been with their birth families so much longer than Grace was. And here we are six months later sharing birthday cake and raving about our amazing children and being so thankful for having them and each other.

It's hard to believe that this time last year I was anxious and irritable about hearing any news about who my punkin was. I couldn't imagine that in a years time I would be home six months with my amazing daughter and sitting at her Ethiopian friends birthday party. I love days like today.