This time last Friday I was anxious, tired, worried and nervous waiting to hear something, ANYTHING, about my referral. Fast forward to today. I'm sleeping better, feeling better and am just more optimistic about everything in general. All in a weeks time and all because of one little girl. It's amazing how things can change so quickly and how one can go from such despair to such joy in so little time.
I know the wait will still be difficult especially since I know who she is now. But honestly, it's such a relief to be in preparation mode instead of just waiting mode. I have lists to make, a room to paint, baby dolls to buy, more paperwork to fill out and information to read. I'm just so excited to have something productive to do.
My task for this weekend is to make her a little photo album. That way her care givers can show it to her and get her familiar with what her family looks like. I bought a really cute album about 18 months ago but it's fabric and not really practical for cleaning and I know they worry about spreading germs. About 14 months ago I bought a second photo album that is vinyl, washable and has a teething ring on the end. I was all set to send that one, but then decided last weekend that it was too boyish so I went Monday night and bought one just like it but pink with lady bugs on it. I'm not sure where this pink obsession came from but I really can't seem to get rid of it. It only holds about 6 pictures but that will be enough for now to get her familiar with me, her grand parents and my sisters and their families. I'm excited to get it together and in the mail.
I officially accepted Grace's referral on Wednesday. After speaking to the International Pediatrician I had to get a number of forms notarized so that took another day. I was going to overnight it but I figured I would be a wreck until I knew it was there so I just decided to drive it there myself. It's not a far ride and it was worth the piece of mind. It's nice to have everything official on my end in terms of paperwork, but she was official the second I saw her picture.
So, I'm just enjoying this time of prepping and rejoicing about having Grace come and join my family. I had just assumed that I would get an 18-24 month old and to know she's only 4 months is icing on the cake. Even though it will be a couple of months before she comes home, I know that I'll be able to experience some of her milestones that I had assumed I would miss like walking, crawling and her first birthday. It will be such a gift to witness those.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Over the Moon
What a whirlwind the past couple of days has been! The joy and sense of relief that I feel is inexplicable. I spent all this time dreaming about an abstract child and now she is real. It's just extraordinary.
I have been overwhelmed by the love and support I have been given not just over the last few days but throughout the whole process. I still can't believe that the little girl everyone is falling all over is my daughter. It delights me to write that. My daughter. My entire family is over the moon about her. Her grandparents have put her picture on their phones and have shown her to just about everybody, including the parish priest. Her aunts and uncles are showing her picture to everyone they have ever met and are helping me plan her room and get ready for her arrival. Her cousins think she is the cutest thing ever and let's face it, it's true! It's just been so fun and it's always amazing to see how the impending arrival of a baby can breathe new life into a family. There is no child that could be more wanted or more anticipated than Grace is.
I had her medical information reviewed by an international pediatrician and they said everything looks pretty good. She's on the small side but her height, weight and head circumference are all in the normal range, the low side of normal, but still normal. She said her eyes were nice and bright and alert. There are no guarantees that everything will develop normally but that would be the case regardless of whether she was biological or adopted. I'm just relieved to know that there doesn't appear to be any big health issues but honestly, I'm not sure it would have made a difference if there was. Once I saw that face with those eyes as big as the moon, I could never imagine not bringing her home. All I need to do now is to officially accept the referral which I will hopefully mail off tomorrow. I just need to have a bunch of stuff notarized and then it will be good to go.
So last night I did something that I have been dying to do. I registered. I went with my sister Kate and it was really fun. A little overwhelming, but fun! Her color scheme will be pink and chocolate brown and her bedding has butterflies and flowers on it. I have no idea what color I will paint her room but I'm just so thrilled about the possibilities. This weekend I'm going through her closet to see what I have. I don't have a ton but I have picked up some crib sheets and wash cloths and towels along the way. I'm just excited to get started.
So my world is good these days. I'm happy and excited and just enjoying staring at her picture. I went to Vermont last Saturday to see my friend Brenda's baby Thomas who is a little love. It was a 3 1/2 hour drive and Grace's picture sat on the passenger seat on the way up and the way back. I'm just completely overjoyed with her!
I have been overwhelmed by the love and support I have been given not just over the last few days but throughout the whole process. I still can't believe that the little girl everyone is falling all over is my daughter. It delights me to write that. My daughter. My entire family is over the moon about her. Her grandparents have put her picture on their phones and have shown her to just about everybody, including the parish priest. Her aunts and uncles are showing her picture to everyone they have ever met and are helping me plan her room and get ready for her arrival. Her cousins think she is the cutest thing ever and let's face it, it's true! It's just been so fun and it's always amazing to see how the impending arrival of a baby can breathe new life into a family. There is no child that could be more wanted or more anticipated than Grace is.
I had her medical information reviewed by an international pediatrician and they said everything looks pretty good. She's on the small side but her height, weight and head circumference are all in the normal range, the low side of normal, but still normal. She said her eyes were nice and bright and alert. There are no guarantees that everything will develop normally but that would be the case regardless of whether she was biological or adopted. I'm just relieved to know that there doesn't appear to be any big health issues but honestly, I'm not sure it would have made a difference if there was. Once I saw that face with those eyes as big as the moon, I could never imagine not bringing her home. All I need to do now is to officially accept the referral which I will hopefully mail off tomorrow. I just need to have a bunch of stuff notarized and then it will be good to go.
So last night I did something that I have been dying to do. I registered. I went with my sister Kate and it was really fun. A little overwhelming, but fun! Her color scheme will be pink and chocolate brown and her bedding has butterflies and flowers on it. I have no idea what color I will paint her room but I'm just so thrilled about the possibilities. This weekend I'm going through her closet to see what I have. I don't have a ton but I have picked up some crib sheets and wash cloths and towels along the way. I'm just excited to get started.
So my world is good these days. I'm happy and excited and just enjoying staring at her picture. I went to Vermont last Saturday to see my friend Brenda's baby Thomas who is a little love. It was a 3 1/2 hour drive and Grace's picture sat on the passenger seat on the way up and the way back. I'm just completely overjoyed with her!
Friday, August 7, 2009
Overjoyed!
Today was the best day of my life. And I want to put it down before I forget all the details that are swirling in my head. So here is how things happened.
At around noon today I was in my office and I glanced at the clock. My agency closes at 1:00 on Fridays and I thought well, it's almost noon, guess I won't get the call today. I went back to work and was on my office phone with a co-worker when my cell phone rang with a number I didn't recognize. My first thought was it's another wrong number, I'm not going to answer. My next thought was I should answer it so I asked my co-worker to hold on a second and I answered my cell. I said hello and sure enough it was Emily my caseworker. I asked her to hold a second and went to the phone in my other hand and said I have to go, it's the phone, a call... and my co-worker said is it a baby call and I said no, yes, I don't know... the phone...and she yelled Beth, hang up the phone with me, hang up! So I said OK and I did. Then I switched back to the cell phone and said hi Emily, thanks for holding, how are you? And she said I'm fine. Do you have some time to talk and I said yes. She said well, I have some very good news. I said oh my God, it this really it? Is this the call and she said this is the call! Then I started crying and my hands were shaking. Then she told me about the Punkin. She is 4 months old(yes I know the earlier post said 5 months but clearly a women just finding out about her daughter should not try to do math). She is from the southern region of the country and she has the most amazing eyes I have ever seen. As a friend of mine said, you could get lost in them. She is everything I ever dreamed of and more. As soon as I opened the attachment with her picture I just knew she was who I had been waiting for. She was worth every minute of waiting. As I type this I am looking at her picture and I just can't believe how lucky I am. I have a daughter. I'm some one's mommy. And she doesn't know anything about me, it's not official as I still have to have her information reviewed by an international pediatrician and then I can accept and wait for the legal process to happen in Ethiopia. But she is undeniably the Punkin I have longed for. I honestly didn't know that this type of joy was possible.
After I saw her picture I ran through my office telling everyone who was there and man, that was so fun. They have all lived through this with me and to share it with them was amazing. I think just about everyone cried when I told them and we all agree she is the most gorgeous baby we've ever seen and I'm not even a little bit biased. Funny story: I apparently went into work with my sweater on inside out and had no clue. Someone in my office noticed when I was running down the hall and the tag was on the outside. It took me over an hour to remember to change it. When I did I went into the bathroom, walked back out and then went back to my desk. My co worker said Beth, I know you went to switch your sweater but did you realize you forgot to do that when you went to the bathroom? And of course I had no idea. My head was total mush at that point. The second time I remembered to switch it.
Then I set down to calling people. My sister Kate was first and she wasn't there so I left a frantic message on her cell phone to call me immediately. She was at the beach with the kids and when she called back I just yelled It's a Girl, It's a girl and we both cried. I did a lot of crying today but it was happy tears. I then called my dad and step mom and both were thrilled beyond words. Then I called my sister Amy. Amy has thought all along that the Punkin was a girl and that she would be an infant. I thought it would be a boy and he'd be a toddler but am thrilled about a girl. Anyway, I called Amy and when the phone rang she told my brother-in-law Kevin to pick it up because it was me and I had a baby. Mind you, the phone wasn't near her so she didn't see the number. He picked it up and said you won't believe who it is and she said it's Beth, pick it up! So I said Hi Kevin it's Beth is Amy there? I probably yelled it but I'm not positive. She got on the phone and I yelled, it's a girl,it's a girl and she just started screaming back. I forwarded her the picture and I was on the phone with her when she saw her for the first time. That was thrilling. Then I had to tell Amy that of course she was wright all along about who the Punkin was and since I was so happy I didn't even mind admitting it(and little sisters usually hate to admit when the big sister is wright). Then I started calling and e-mailing friends and other family members. On my way home from work I stopped by the cemetery to tell my mom and show her the picture. I know that's odd to some people but I'm a literal person. When I want to talk to her I go to the cemetery because that's where she is. And I didn't want her to be left out of the best day of my life. I could feel her joy. The picture sat on the passenger seat and I looked at her at every stop light and I'm not even kidding. Then we finished the day celebrating with dinner out and I bought the punkin an outfit. Had no idea what size to buy so went with 6-9 which will probably be too big but she'll fit in it at some point.
So from this point on we can refer to her as Grace. Punkin will be one of my special names for her but Grace will be her first name. She will keep her Ethiopian name as her middle name but I can't post that since I'm not legally her mother yet so we'll refer to that as L. for the time being. Her second middle name will be Elizabeth to honor my mother(it was her beloved grandmother's name) so her full name will be Grace L(Ethiopian birth name) Elizabeth. I'm sorry but I can't post a picture anywhere on the Internet as it's not allowed. If I've told you her birth name, please don't post it anywhere.
I'm sorry if this post has no paragraphs but my head is still swimming. I'm sure I will have more to add when I've had some time to digest it all. Until then, I'm just sitting here waiting for my daughter(Squeal!)to come.
At around noon today I was in my office and I glanced at the clock. My agency closes at 1:00 on Fridays and I thought well, it's almost noon, guess I won't get the call today. I went back to work and was on my office phone with a co-worker when my cell phone rang with a number I didn't recognize. My first thought was it's another wrong number, I'm not going to answer. My next thought was I should answer it so I asked my co-worker to hold on a second and I answered my cell. I said hello and sure enough it was Emily my caseworker. I asked her to hold a second and went to the phone in my other hand and said I have to go, it's the phone, a call... and my co-worker said is it a baby call and I said no, yes, I don't know... the phone...and she yelled Beth, hang up the phone with me, hang up! So I said OK and I did. Then I switched back to the cell phone and said hi Emily, thanks for holding, how are you? And she said I'm fine. Do you have some time to talk and I said yes. She said well, I have some very good news. I said oh my God, it this really it? Is this the call and she said this is the call! Then I started crying and my hands were shaking. Then she told me about the Punkin. She is 4 months old(yes I know the earlier post said 5 months but clearly a women just finding out about her daughter should not try to do math). She is from the southern region of the country and she has the most amazing eyes I have ever seen. As a friend of mine said, you could get lost in them. She is everything I ever dreamed of and more. As soon as I opened the attachment with her picture I just knew she was who I had been waiting for. She was worth every minute of waiting. As I type this I am looking at her picture and I just can't believe how lucky I am. I have a daughter. I'm some one's mommy. And she doesn't know anything about me, it's not official as I still have to have her information reviewed by an international pediatrician and then I can accept and wait for the legal process to happen in Ethiopia. But she is undeniably the Punkin I have longed for. I honestly didn't know that this type of joy was possible.
After I saw her picture I ran through my office telling everyone who was there and man, that was so fun. They have all lived through this with me and to share it with them was amazing. I think just about everyone cried when I told them and we all agree she is the most gorgeous baby we've ever seen and I'm not even a little bit biased. Funny story: I apparently went into work with my sweater on inside out and had no clue. Someone in my office noticed when I was running down the hall and the tag was on the outside. It took me over an hour to remember to change it. When I did I went into the bathroom, walked back out and then went back to my desk. My co worker said Beth, I know you went to switch your sweater but did you realize you forgot to do that when you went to the bathroom? And of course I had no idea. My head was total mush at that point. The second time I remembered to switch it.
Then I set down to calling people. My sister Kate was first and she wasn't there so I left a frantic message on her cell phone to call me immediately. She was at the beach with the kids and when she called back I just yelled It's a Girl, It's a girl and we both cried. I did a lot of crying today but it was happy tears. I then called my dad and step mom and both were thrilled beyond words. Then I called my sister Amy. Amy has thought all along that the Punkin was a girl and that she would be an infant. I thought it would be a boy and he'd be a toddler but am thrilled about a girl. Anyway, I called Amy and when the phone rang she told my brother-in-law Kevin to pick it up because it was me and I had a baby. Mind you, the phone wasn't near her so she didn't see the number. He picked it up and said you won't believe who it is and she said it's Beth, pick it up! So I said Hi Kevin it's Beth is Amy there? I probably yelled it but I'm not positive. She got on the phone and I yelled, it's a girl,it's a girl and she just started screaming back. I forwarded her the picture and I was on the phone with her when she saw her for the first time. That was thrilling. Then I had to tell Amy that of course she was wright all along about who the Punkin was and since I was so happy I didn't even mind admitting it(and little sisters usually hate to admit when the big sister is wright). Then I started calling and e-mailing friends and other family members. On my way home from work I stopped by the cemetery to tell my mom and show her the picture. I know that's odd to some people but I'm a literal person. When I want to talk to her I go to the cemetery because that's where she is. And I didn't want her to be left out of the best day of my life. I could feel her joy. The picture sat on the passenger seat and I looked at her at every stop light and I'm not even kidding. Then we finished the day celebrating with dinner out and I bought the punkin an outfit. Had no idea what size to buy so went with 6-9 which will probably be too big but she'll fit in it at some point.
So from this point on we can refer to her as Grace. Punkin will be one of my special names for her but Grace will be her first name. She will keep her Ethiopian name as her middle name but I can't post that since I'm not legally her mother yet so we'll refer to that as L. for the time being. Her second middle name will be Elizabeth to honor my mother(it was her beloved grandmother's name) so her full name will be Grace L(Ethiopian birth name) Elizabeth. I'm sorry but I can't post a picture anywhere on the Internet as it's not allowed. If I've told you her birth name, please don't post it anywhere.
I'm sorry if this post has no paragraphs but my head is still swimming. I'm sure I will have more to add when I've had some time to digest it all. Until then, I'm just sitting here waiting for my daughter(Squeal!)to come.
Wait and Ye Shall Receive!!!!!!!
I got the call today at 12:30p.m!!!! The call that has changed my life forever! It's a girl and she is 5 months old and the most incredible child I have ever seen! I can not post her Ethiopian name or a picture but I can tell you that her name will be Grace L(ethiopian birth name) Elizabeth Flaherty. I am beyond ecstatic. I will post details of the call later this weekend when I've had a chance to digest it all.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
I went to see Jason Mraz
I found the cure for the adoption blues. It's called go to a Jason Mraz concert. Seriously, if that guy can't put you in a good mood you're just not capable of having one. I went with my sister Kate and when we got to our seats we noticed that there was a small stage set up right next to our seats. The small stage was in the middle of the venue. And by next to I mean I could sit in my chair with my hand on the stage, that's how close it was. Anyway, the reason for the small stage? Well, Jason and three of his band members leave the big stage and come to the small stage for the first encore. Yes, I was just feet away from him. And when he left the stage to walk back to the main stage he walked right by me and shook my hand! Yes, he shook my hand! While I swore to never wash my hand again, I did let my normal grownup brain taker over and sadly, I did wash it this morning. But I did think twice about it. I also got two pictures on my camera phone and while it's a great picture of his bongo player, Jason is sadly a little fuzzy. If I ever learn how to get the pictures off the phone I'll try to post them to the blog. But since I've technologically challenged that might not happen. Anyway, it was a fantastic concert and a great lifting of the spirit for me. Now let's just hope there is a referral on the horizon!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I Got Nothin
So, no news to report. I get an update later today from my agency so perhaps there have been some referrals that I haven't heard about but as far as I know, things haven't really started to move yet.
A friend of mine forwarded me an e-mail yesterday of an article that was written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer,Cleveland, Ohio. She made a list of the 45 lessons life taught her. There were a number that really stood out to me so I put them in my blog as a reminder of the lessons I want to use in my own life.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
22. Over prepare, and then go with the flow.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?"
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
44. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Those are some great lessons to learn by. I think I really need to start using #25 every time I get upset about a delay in the adoption process. And as a realist, I think I live by #22 though my sisters would disagree, They think I'm a pessimist. Actually, they call me Eeyore from the Winnie the pooh. I think I just prepare for all the possible outcomes and then hope for the best.
So, I'm hanging in there for now. Something is bound to happen sooner or later and in the poetic words of Jason Mraz...."I won't worry my life away". OK, I probably will, but I do try not to. I'm going to see him in concert tomorrow night and I seriously can.not.wait.
A friend of mine forwarded me an e-mail yesterday of an article that was written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer,Cleveland, Ohio. She made a list of the 45 lessons life taught her. There were a number that really stood out to me so I put them in my blog as a reminder of the lessons I want to use in my own life.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
22. Over prepare, and then go with the flow.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?"
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
44. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Those are some great lessons to learn by. I think I really need to start using #25 every time I get upset about a delay in the adoption process. And as a realist, I think I live by #22 though my sisters would disagree, They think I'm a pessimist. Actually, they call me Eeyore from the Winnie the pooh. I think I just prepare for all the possible outcomes and then hope for the best.
So, I'm hanging in there for now. Something is bound to happen sooner or later and in the poetic words of Jason Mraz...."I won't worry my life away". OK, I probably will, but I do try not to. I'm going to see him in concert tomorrow night and I seriously can.not.wait.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
14 Months and Counting
Well, here we are at month number 14 of what I thought was going to be an 8-12 month wait. So here's the good news. MOWA has officially reopened. And because good news almost always has bad news attached to it, the court closing has been announced for the middle of August through some September(not exactly sure on when it will reopen). Referrals can be given out during the time courts are closed but no cases are heard which means that the time to travel will be extended. Since I still don't have a referral I wouldn't expect to travel until sometime in December at the earliest. I've resigned myself to another long wait but at least I can be getting ready once I know who the Punkin is. I'm just ready for some movement. Let's see if this is my lucky week!
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